“True,” Tatiana huffs. “And for some reason, my husband doesn’t take that as a hint at all!”
Carolina laughs. It’s nice to see her relax a bit. I may not be able to fix the nightmares or the possible anxiety, but I can get to the bottom of this ghosting problem.
“So, what challenge do y’all have for me today? And by ‘challenge,’ I mean something I can probably figure out in two shakes of a lamb’s tail,” Tatiana flexes her fingers, pausing over her keyboard.
“We’re looking for ghosts,” Carolina starts.
Tatiana whirls back to us. “Ghosts, as in the kind that ‘haunted’ my Aunt Lurlene’s house? Or ghosts as in ‘the machine?’”
I squint. “Ghosts, as in ghosting men.”
“Every boy and man I dated has ghosted me,” Carolina explains.
“Honey, I can’t track down fellas that don’t want to be with you,” Tatiana winces. “I mean - I can do it, but you probably don’t want me to, right? You don’t want to be with a guy who takes off without so much as akiss my foot, do you?”
“It turns out, several of her ex-boyfriends - the ones who ghosted her - are dead,” I scowl. “Carolina doesn’t want to get back together with them. Do you?”
Carolina shakes her head.
Tatiana nods. “Let’s get crackin! Seems like we’re going ghost-hunting!”
???
In less than a half-hour, Tatiana found out all the dirt on Carolina’s love life. And it was plenty dirty. Not in a sexy kind of dirty.
“All of your exes are dead,” T points out.
Nate Almond died in an accident in high school. Zack Cicero had a heart attack. At the age of 24. The brakes on Elijah Hahn’s car failed when he drove down a mountain, then careened over the hairpin turn railing. And Parker Takoda went into anaphylactic shock and died after he accidentally ingested peanuts. In a vanilla milkshake.
The rest of her serious ex-boyfriends also met untimely ends.
“That leaves Dash Malum and Dr. Wendell Baumann,” Carolina adds.
“We laid eyes on Douchebag Dash yesterday,” I shake my head. “But, no one’s seen Dr. Baumann in a week.”
“They probably haven’t found him yet,” Tatiana mumbles under her breath.
Carolina gasps.
“T!” I chastise.
Tatiana turns toward Carolina. “Sorry, honey. I didn’t mean it like that. Even though that’s the likely outcome, it’s still rude of me to point it out.”
I stare at the pictures of Carolina’s ex-boyfriends up on the screen. “We’re looking for the common denominator with these men.”
Carolina snorts. “You mean, besides dating me?”
“Right.”
Carolina begins to pace.
“Let’s start with the guys from high school,” I point to the original four. “You didn’t date all of them in high school, right?”
“Correct. I dated Nate in high school, but the rest of the guys came after.”
“Where did you meet the others?” Tatiana questions.
Carolina shrugs. “All over. Bars, online dating, friends of friends.”
