Before I know it, the ceremony is over, and Flint nudges me with an elbow to the gut. And by “nudge,” I mean nearly knocks me over on the beach.
“Dude, get it together. You’re supposed to walk up the aisle with Carolina,” Flint hisses.
“Oh, right!” I jump into action. I missed the rehearsal last night. I was working on logistics for Flint and Celia’snot-so-secrettrip to the bank for tomorrow. I figuredhow hard could it beto be a Best Man? You hold the rings. You sign the marriage certificate. You make a toast.
Shit on a sonic screwdriver.I forgot to write a toast.
Before I panic, a soft hand wraps around my arm and tugs me toward the aisle. “Come on, Rambling Man. Time to get moving.”
Her hand seems to be directly connected to the lightsaber in my pants. No, not physically connected. But there’s atranscendentconnection between her touch and the physical reaction I’m having. My lightsaber goes from dormant to fully ready to battle the Dark Side in point-two seconds.
This means when we walk back up the aisle, I’m fidgeting and walking funny.
“What’s wrong with you?” Carolina growls in my ear.
Oh, shit. Her growling is not helping.
“Nothing,” I stutter.
Think of earwigs. Think of aliens breaking through your chest wall to escape and wreak havoc on the universe. Think of soylent green. Good. Good. Nothing like thoughts of liquefied people to quell the rising apocalypse in my pants.
Now that my blood flow has returned to normal, I turn to Carolina, but she’s gone again.
And my world suddenly feelsheels-over-head out of control.
Fuck-a-doodle-do.
Chapter 3
“The fish in this sea taste bitter.”
-Carolina
Present day.
I wish I lived in a musical. Or a Hallmark movie. That way, when I want to break out into song and jazz hands, no one on the streets of Washington, D.C. would look at me strangely.
Because I feel soalive!I want to dance down a tree-lined street and sing a song about cherry blossoms, how amazing they smell, and falling in love, and… well…something. I don’t know what else, but it would be amazing.
And it would end inThe Sex.
Okay, maybenota Hallmark movie.
Maybe one of those gritty Broadway musicals with tasteful nudity and the playwrights are lauded for pushing the boundaries of polite society.
My heart is full of possibilities and the heady aroma of cherry blossoms. I am practically waltzing down the street toward Eximus - the hottest restaurant in Washington. Yes, these jaded politico D.C. types look at me like I escaped from the nearest insane asylum. I give them big smiles and continue waltzing.
I’m on my way to a date with Dr. Wendell Baumann and tonight is THE NIGHT. The night we go all the way toThe Sex.
It’s been three months. It’s time.
And he’s been incredibly patient with me.
Heh.Patient.
He must also be connected, getting a reservation at Eximus when the place has a three-month wait list. Otherwise, he made the reservation when we first started dating.
I stop waltzing and frown.
