Page 32 of Saber Stalked


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Rand: (...)

Carolina: Shit. That sounded better in my mind.

Rand: *gif of Bill Nye the Science Guy making the universal symbol for mind blown*

Carolina: *facepalm emoji*

Rand: I bet you’re an adorbs shade of red right now.

Carolina: Adorbs?

Rand: Adorbs (adjective/informal) definition: inspiring great delight; cute or adorable. Example: “your blush is totally adorbs.” See also: adorable.

Carolina: *blushing emoji*

Rand: See? Adorbs.

Carolina: (...)

Rand: You’re blushing AND eating chocolate cake right now.

Carolina: *gif of a woman with chipmunk cheeks*

Rand: See how much fun we’ll have at your reunion?

Carolina: (...)

Rand: I can be your fake boyfriend! I already know you like chocolate cake.

Carolina: (...)

Rand: And I checked the reunion website. I see there’s a trivia/scavenger hunt contest. I know all kinds of “sciency” shit. That’s helpful, right?

Carolina: (...)

Rand: Plus - and I’m abso-fucking-lutely tooting my own horn here - I’m a fantastic dancer. The Macarena. The Electric Slide. The Wobble. The Cupid Shuffle. The waltz, tango, Lambada.

Carolina: Lambada?

Rand: It’s the forbidden dance.

Carolina: As it should be.

Rand: So, what do you say?

Carolina: *gif of a woman letting out a big sigh*

Rand: I feel like that’s a yes. It’s a yes, right?

Carolina: How do you text so fast?

Rand: Oh, that’s easy. I voice to text. I tell my phone what to type, and she takes over from there.

Carolina: She?

Rand: If we’re going to carry a computer overlord around in our pockets all the time, I’m going to refer to her as “she.” Or Queen. Whichever she prefers.

Unknown number: I prefer QUEEN!