That doesn’t explain how he knows my name, but the thought flits in and out of my mind, and before I know it, I’m reaching out to shake.
I love YouTube videos of people doing stupid shit. It’s an obsession for me. Most of those videos start with someone saying, “Hold my beer.” And I can’t get enough. Who needs television when Stupid People are far more entertaining?
One of the recurring themes in those videos is when people touch a live wire, stick their finger in an electrical socket, or lick a battery.
Seriously. Have you ever thought to yourself - hey, let’s lick that battery? No, thank you.
In every single one of those videos, when Stupid Person does Stupid Thing With Electricity, they get thrown back at least 10 feet. Or thrown up into the air. Listen, they’re fine. They live. And it’s freaking hilarious.
Touching Rand Kestrel’s hand felt like that. The electric shock nearly threw me into next week. And that was anything but funny.
He stares at me like I shocked him. My mouth hangs open as I notice how his muscles stretch the tuxedo shirt across the chest. And I do the only thing I can think of in this situation.
“I have a boyfriend,” I blurt out, right before I run away from him.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen. This 46-year-old grown woman just ran away. Like he doesn’t already know my name. Like he couldn’t track me down if he wanted to.
I was Queen of the Stupid People today. Thank God someone wasn’t recording it for YouTube.
