It still doesn’t explain the missing chunk of time that night, or the blood on my hands. That's…worrying.
“Are there any others?” she asks suddenly. “I mean if you could accept that Quentin was a figment of your mind…”
My jaw tightens. “You’re wondering if there are other ‘others’ inside of me who I see and interact with as viscerally as I did with him.”
She nods quietly.
Don’t you fucking dare spill our secret, motherfucker.
Historically, it's only rarely that I’ve been able to consciously shut Demon up.
But ever since I crossed paths with Evelina, that’s changed. Not completely. But Idohave the ability to wrest control back, and to quiet him.
And that ability has only grown more powerful the longer I’ve been with her.
Don’t think for a fucking moment that we’ll allow ourselves to be shut?—
This is a private conversation. Goodbye.
Silence fills my head.
“Yes,” I say quietly. “His name is Demon.”
I feel Evelina shiver against me.
I smile. “There’s nothing to be afraid of. It’s just a name I gave him years and years ago.” My brow furrows. “The thing is, Iusedto fear him, because I thought he was fury or malice or something, and he was so much stronger than the rest. But I think I understand him more as I’ve gotten older.” I shake my head, smiling. “He’sdrive. He’s what kept me alive all those years back in McKeesport, when I was coming apart at the seams. He helped mesurvive. He kept me going forward, always climbing, always reaching for the next rung.”
I cup her face and look deep into her eyes.
“He’s not evil, though he’s capable of terrible things. But I think he’s simply my ambition.” I smile wryly. “You’ve, uh…met him. Several times.”
She arches a curious brow. “I have?”
“You were asleep.”
She frowns. “I don’t?—”
Her eyes widen as it hits her. Then her cheeks flush.
“Oh,” she says quietly.
“I’d say you rather like him,” I murmur.
I exhale slowly.
“So… There it is,” I growl. “Now you know all my dirty, fucked-up secrets.” My mouth twists as I look at her. “Now’s your chance to run,” I say quietly, only half kidding.
She starts to roll her eyes, but I shake my head.
“I’m serious, Evelina,” I murmur. “I’m not just a little tweaked in the head. I amprofoundlyfucked up.” I choke a cold laugh. “I mean for fuck’s sake, I’ve had sidebar convos with Demon even as we’ve been talking just now. I woke up in my car the night you were attacked with blood on my hands and Ididn’t knowif it’d beenmewho hurt you, because he was running the show.”
Her brows pinch. “Do youthink you’d ever be capable of doing that?” she says quietly. “I mean of hurting me, and not in the way we both like?—”
“Never in a million fucking years,” I growl immediately.
Right?
Fuck no. We enjoy her pussy far too much.
