I squeeze her hand again. “Because I really do understand it,” I say. “And so does he.”
Before he passed out on the couch, Vaughn hugged Sabine, held her close, and told her he loved her no matter what.
Now, the me of even a week ago would have beenlividabout that.
But I understand what they are, now. And I think Sabine does, too.
“He was just being nice,” she says quietly, looking over at Vaughn.
I snort. “Yes, because ‘just being nice’ issoon brand for him.”
She giggles, shaking her head and pulling her hands away from mine to wipe her eyes again. Then she takes a long, shaky breath in and out.
“After the bombing, I reallywasin a wheelchair for about a month. I had a spinal injury, and there was concern that it might not heal properly.” Her mouth twists as she looks up at me. “You’re right, you know. It’d been just Dad and me for so long, and then having him yanked away so suddenly…I think I was just desperate to be looked after. Vaughn and my dad had always been so close, and I’d always thought of him as this brother figure.”
She exhales and looks away. “When I was in that chair, he was so attentive, and always…there. I liked that,” she chokes. “Ireallyliked that even though Dad was gone, I still had this…thing.This love. Except I never really learned what different kinds of love are, so for the longest time, I told myself that I wasin lovewith Vaughn.”
She swallows heavily.
“I had this whole thing down to a science, even thoughevery fucking day, I told myself it was insane. I mean,Jesus!” she chokes. “I’d go meet him and spend time with him in my fucking chair, and he’d look after me, and that made me feel good. Then I’d go home andstand the fuck up, and it was like I was taking off a work uniform and slipping into pajamas. I had two worlds: the one where Vaughn took care of me like family because he felt guilty about Syndicate business being the reason Stellan was dead and I was in that fucking chair. And then I would go home and walk around and use my normal kitchen, and waltz up a flight of stairs to go sleep in my loft.”
She shoots me an embarrassed look.
“Yeah, I…don’t have friends who stay over.”
I smile. “Ididsort of wonder whereyourbed was.”
Sabine sniffs back tears as she smiles sadly at me.
“Evie, I wassucha cunt to you, because I saw you as this threat. I guess part of it was telling myself that you were going to stealmyVaughn, which is so fucking cringe because I reallydon’tthink of him like that. And then the rest was classic only child syndrome,” she sighs. “I was worried that I’d lose the last pseudo-family I’d managed to cling to.”
I blink back tears. “Sabine, I willnevertake him away from you. I promise.”
“The thing is,” she chokes, starting to cry, “Iget itnow. I get what romantic love is supposed to look like. And Vaughn and me?” She makes a face and shakes her head vigorously. “Jesus, he and Ido nothave that.” She smiles. “You two do.”
I start to cry, too, and we stand and come together in a tight, weepy hug.
“I’m really not crying because I’m sad a man I thought I was‘in love with’ found someone else,” she murmurs. “I’m crying with happiness because the guy I love like the brother I never had has found someone as incredible as you.”
Well, shit.
If I thought I was crying before….
We end up opening a bottle of wine and staying up talking until the sun is rising. Sabine is still terrified that Vaughn is never going to forgive her for lying.
I promise her I’ll make damn sure he does.
But I know I won’t have to try that hard.
Eventually, Sabine falls asleep in one of the big leather chairs across from the couch Vaughn’s been sleeping on. I curl up next to him and close my eyes.
“I was wondering when you two would finally run out of steam.”
I slowly turn to face him. He shifts, wincing a little. But he manages to cup my face in his hands as his gorgeous blue eyes pierce into mine.
“I will never understand how you, with the father you have, turned out sogood,” he murmurs. “But in case I don't say it enough…you, Evelina,” he growls, “are averygood person.”
I smile as I look into his eyes. “So is she,” I say. “Don’t forget that.”
