“He’s not real! He just?—”
“Yes he is,” I choke, paling as the man grins widely and levels the gun right at me. “Vaughn… I’m staring right at him.”
41
VAUGHN
There comesa point when the madness becomes too much.
When the thing you call sanity comes crashing to the ground.
When who you think you are, and what you think you know, splits in two before your very eyes.
After that, it’s nothing but a black downward spiral.
I stare in horror as Evelinalooks right atthat part of my mind that I try to keep locked away.
Acknowledging him.
Seeing him as a physical presence.
That’s what breaks me.
I drop to my knees, shaking, my vision blurring in and out. Little lightning storms flash and thunder behind my eyes, making me glitch and twitch, my eyes juststaringat Evelina as she stares in horror at the man pointing a gun at her.
Not me.
Not my hand.
Not my gun.
Hisgun, inhishand.
How is this real.
How is she seeing him.
Maybe she’s a fucking crazy as we are, motherfucker, Demon snarls inside of me.Maybe that’s why your dick gets so fucking hard for her, and why you follow her around like a beaten dog. Crazy recognized craaaaaaazy, you stupid fuck.
I don’t know how to respond to that. All I can do is stare as Evelina walks into the room when Quentin tells her to and sits in the chair he indicates. She's shaking, her eyes wide with terror. They dart to me, and I see the plea in them.
Help me.
Do something.
Save me.
But how do I save her from a part of me that I don’t have any control over?
I can’t compartmentalize this anymore, not when it’s leering in my face. Now when it’s pointing a gun at the woman I love with more of me than I’ve even ever loved myself with.
Why am I doing this.
Why can’t I stop.
I see Quentin holding a gun in her face, yet I knowheisme. I know that it’smeshoving her into that chair, pointing death ather face, threatening her, making her quail with fear, breaking her heart.
And I can’t fucking stop it.
