“Um…” I swallow. “Kind of.”
He mutters something I don’t quite catch in Russian.
“Is it dangerous?”
“Uh… No, it’s fine.”
He chuckles. “My Evelina. Always such a bad liar. And your brother…what does he think about this?”
My eyes close. “He...he doesn’t know this part either.”
Papa exhales slowly. “You’re doing something dangerous, against your better judgement, and without your brother’s knowledge…for me?”
“Of course, Papa,” I whisper. “You're family.”
“Ahhh, my beautiful Evelina,” he sighs. “I don’t know how to thank you.”
In the background, someone says something to him Russian that I can’t quite hear, and he sighs.
“Evelina, I’m sorry, but I need to go.”
My brow furrows. “You’re okay?”
“Da,I’ll be fine,” he grunts. “But this arrangement…whenwould I be able to come home and have protection?”
“Soon,” I promise. “Really soon. Just—hang in there, okay?”
“You’re a wonderful daughter, Evelina,” he sighs.
I smile wryly. “Be safe, Papa. I’ll call again soon.”
Again,it’s all perspective.
Maybe from one angle, I could befinewith the situation with Vaughn. We’re just two people who happen to be into brutally rough, sadism-tinged sex.
It’sveryclear to me at this point that that’s my jam.
It’s not like I hadnoexperience of sex before him. There was Ethan, and our make-out sessions and heavy petting.
But that never did anything for me. Not because Ethan was bad at kissing, or had fumbling, cold hands or anything. It wasn’thimat all.
It was me. I realize that now.
Ethan’s approach was romantic and sweet. He’d kiss me tenderly, and when it did escalate, it was like something straight out of Hollywood. But when he put his hands on me, it was always punctuated by him checking in.
Is this okay?
Can I touch you here?
Does that feel good?
That drove me nuts.
With Vaughn, it’s…
Well, the polar opposite.
There’snothingtender about the way he touches me.
