I need to use my actions to show her that I am the best choice for her. I need to make it to where she doesn’t even remember his name.
“Clint isn’t a bad guy. I wish you would get to know him,” she says.
I shake my head. “I appreciate that, but I still think that he should know you a bit better by now. It’s been over a month since we were at that bar. If it were me, I would already know all your favorites. He already has a strike, Iris. I don’t offer three.”
She sighs. “I’m going to keep dating him, Max.”
I nod. “That’s fine. You should if that is what you want.” The words burn like acid in my throat. “I would never stop you from doing something you truly love. I hope you know I only want what is best for you. In your life and work. I love you, Iris.” I swallow hard. “Always have.”
The impact of the words doesn’t hit her the way they hit me. I knew they wouldn’t. I’m not proclaiming my love like I planned. I’m only telling her what she thinks is the truth. That I love her as a friend. She isn’t ready for more right now.
She will be, though.
“I know. I love you too, Max. I won’t say I’m happy, but I’m trying to be,” she admits.
I move closer to her, pulling her into my arms.
I want to ask her about the job. Ask her if it’s work that is part of the problem.
I don’t, though. Instead, I hug her to me and rest my face on the top of her head.
“When did we drift so far apart?” I murmur against her head.
She lets out a sigh. “I don’t know.”
“We used to talk about all of this shit, and now I feel like you are drifting away from me. Is that what you want? To have space?” I say in a low tone.
She is quiet for several long moments. My heart is in my throat as I think about her answer. If she says yes, will I step away? Could I? Even knowing how I feel?
I don’t think I can. I have to at least take a shot. If I don’t, it will be my biggest regret.
When she finally speaks, she hugs me tighter. “No. I don’t need space from you. I don’t know what is going on in my head right now, so I am having a hard time talking to you about it. You’re still my best friend, though. Nothing will change that.”
Relief fills me even if her words don’t ring quite true.
I know she won’t mean for anything to change, but if she takes the job in London, it will. It won’t be right away. First, we will continue to talk daily. Phone calls will turn to texts. The texts will come less and less until her birthday comes and the only reason I remember is because of a notification on my calendar.
I won’t love her any less, but it’s the reality of the world. Time and difference pull even the strongest pairs apart.
“I’ll do everything I can to keep you happy,” I promise her. “Now I know you don’t really want this candy, so how about I run back to my apartment and grab my emergency supply of Sour Patch Kids? We could watch the new episode ofSurvivor.”
She laughs against me before she pulls back.
“Deal. I’ll order Chinese. Meet back here in ten?” she asks.
I nod. “Wouldn’t miss it.”
On impulse, I lean in and kiss her cheek close to the corner of her mouth. It’s not quite inappropriate, but it still makes my dick twitch in my pants.
Then I leave without another word.
I am going to win Iris over if it’s the last thing I do.
I only need to figure out a new strategy.
Chapter
Fourteen
