Out of the corner of my eye, I watch Iris smile down at her phone.
Is it him? Is he already texting her? Trying to win her over?
Desperate. He has to be desperate if this is how hard he’s coming onto her.
Then again, it could be that guy she had dinner with. What was his name again? Parker? Paul? Preston? Peter?
She said that they didn’t work out, but could she have changed her mind? I never thought this much about her life outside of work before, but then again, I never had to. I always knew what she was up to. If we weren’t hanging out, she was with the girls or taking some time to herself.
She has never had a social life outside of mine before, and now that she does, I am unsure how to handle it. I don’t want to control her, but I also feel like I am losing control of my own life by losing her. It’s a delicate balance.
Iris sighs as she drops her phone back into her lap, the screen darkened.
“Who was that?” I ask, aware that my bad mood is showing.
“That’s none of your business,” she says without skipping a beat.
I know it shouldn’t, but her words sting. They are just another reminder that things between us are changing.
We have secrets now.
I let out a slow breath but keep my mouth shut.
“What is wrong with you tonight? You have been acting weird. I know you don’t like social situations, but I’m not going to always be able to be there to hold your hand, Max.”
I want to tell her to delete their numbers, get rid of the dating apps or whatever she’s using to find these douchebags, but I can’t. As much as I want to tell her that I have always been in love with her, the lump in my throat stops me.
The debilitating fear that she will reject me and leave me forever is right there. I cannot lose her. I don’t know how she did it, but she has become the single most important person in my life.
She’s right. It’s none of my business even though I wish it were. She’s made her choice, and I’ve made mine. I want her however I can.
“Sorry. You know how I get,” I grumble, hoping she buys my lie.
She doesn’t say anything for a long moment. I lose myself to my thoughts.
Have I already ruined it?
“Hey, did you notice the chemistry between Erica and Andrew?” she asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.
“Who?”
“The people we were with tonight. You know, the employees you have known for years.”
Of course I know who she is talking about. I just didn’t understand the question. Why would I notice what was going on between them when I was too busy focused on her?
“No, can’t say I was paying attention to that,” I admit.
“Of course you weren’t. You’re a man.” She sighs.
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” I tell her.
“I’m just saying that men are oblivious to what’s right in front of them.” She shrugs.
I bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from asking questions.
Is that a dig at me? Did I miss something? Did she give me a sign, and I was too blind to see it? Or is she really talking about our coworkers? Or hell, is she just talking about men in general?
This is why I hate social shit. I don’t always get the cues everyone else does. It has taken me a long time to teach myself to pick up on things in a business setting. I have yet to master the same in a personal one.
