“We are just friends. Always have been. There might have been a slight attraction when we met, but then he hired me, and those are lines you don’t cross.” I look back to the ice, hating how I want to cry right now.
“Uh, those lines do get crossed. Each one of us has crossed them,” Chloe snorts.
“Okay, but Liv, you had a baby with the dude before you worked with him. Doesn’t count. Chloe, you were living with the guy and feeding him your special cucumbers and shit before he offered you a job. Doesn’t count. Adrianna…okay you count, but it’s different. There is more on the line than my job. Max is my best friend. I can’t imagine my life without him,” I admit.
“Do you really think you will find a guy who is going to accept how close you and Max are?” Liv asks.
“They will be able to see what we see. What is holding you back?” Chloe adds.
“I went to him and told him I want a family. That I can’t wait any longer. I gave him a chance to speak up, and I thought he was going to, but then he said he supports me dating and will be here for me. I can’t make him love me.” I can hear the exasperation in my voice.
“Maybe he was scared…” Liv starts, but I cut her off.
“No. Don’t make excuses for him. I do that enough myself in my head. I can make all the excuses in the world so that I can believe he loves me, but at the end of the day, he doesn’t love me the way I love him. It hurts, but it’s the truth. I need to move on, and I need you to support me with that,” I tell them.
“We will. We do. What about Bethanie? Have you talked to her about it?” Adrianna asks me.
I forgot how much of a keen observer she is. I have only mentioned Bethanie a few times over the years, but she remembers. She is a truly great friend.
“I haven’t. She has so much going on now with her twins going into high school. I love her, and she will always be my friend, but we have drifted apart. Maybe that’s another reason I feel this need to catch up.”
It’s true. Bethanie and I grew up together. She was my best friend all through school. She got knocked up by her high school sweetheart at eighteen and had a shotgun wedding. I have loved seeing all the updates and talking to her here and there, but those calls come less and less. Now that I am contemplating my life, I wonder if I am the reason for that. I never had any updates to give her on my life that weren’t centered around work, while she always talked about her family.
We lived in different worlds.
“Don’t push yourself too hard. It will happen when it’s meant to happen. In the meantime, we are here for all the horrid date stories,” Chloe says, reaching out to grab my hand.
The others do the same.
I might not have Bethanie as close as we once were, but I have these ladies, and for that I am blessed.
“Thank you.”
“Shit, is that Ari on the Zamboni?” I hear Brantley mutter.
We all look down at the ice. Sure enough, Ari is on the Zamboni waving as they clear the ice before warm-ups.
I smile warmly as I look back at Max. His eyes are on me.
I wonder if he can see the wanting in mine?
MAX
I thought tonight would be like any other night, but it’s not.
Ever since Iris told me that she wants a family, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. I am worried about what this means for us.
Not many know about all the social anxiety I live with in my life. Even Mason thinks I have gotten better over the years, but the truth is, it is all Iris. When she is with me, it is like she anchors me. She gives me something to cling to when I feel like it is becoming too much.
“What is wrong with you tonight?” Brantley asks, nudging my side.
“Nothing. Tired. Traveling is getting to be a bit much,” I lie.
Mason frowns. “You never wanted that job. Do I need to take it back?”
I shake my head. “You have a family now. I don’t. It makes more sense for me to go jet-setting around the world. Honestly, if being tired is my biggest complaint, then you need to smack me for being tone-deaf. I know I am lucky to get to travel the way I do.”
“That’s not it,” Eli tells the group. “It’s Iris, isn’t it?”
