‘You just don’t need to!’ He looks slightly petulant; I half-expect him to stamp his foot.
‘Oh, I definitely do,’ I say. ‘But I didn’t have you pegged for a martyr complex. This could be useful information.’ He just grumbles in response. ‘Besides,’ I continue. ‘I realised within about five minutes that I had made a horrible mistake in letting you walk away.’
‘Is there a reason why you didn’t say anything once you realised? I’ve been posting like crazy, hoping you’d see my stories and reach out, but you never did.’
‘I hid you so I wouldn’t have to see anything.’
‘What?’ He takes out his phone, flamboyantly pressing at the screen. ‘No! I checked; you’re still following me.’ He shows me the screen with a flourish, my profile picture prominent.See? See?
It makes me laugh, relaxing me in a way I’m starting to realise only he can. ‘You can hide people you’re following so that you don’t see their posts, Grandpa.’
‘Oh…’ I love the little confused wrinkle between his brows, the way a curl flops down over his eyes as he stares at his phone. ‘You’ll have to show me how to do that. I have a few cousins with profiles for their children who post practically every shit their child takes.’
‘Okay, sure.’ Possibly a little condescending.
‘So,’ he prompts me. ‘Why did you hide me? Surely you know I would have answered if you’d called.’
‘Who knows? It’s not a thing that can be known.’
‘I was waiting for you.’
What? ‘Why?’
‘You said that you were considering your options!’
‘I also said it was our ending.’ It was pretty final sounding, I’m sure of that—I’ve replayed it in my mind enough times.
‘I’m choosing not to remember that part.’
‘That seems like a poor choice in terms of self-preservation.’
‘We’ll have to agree to disagree there. Anyway, I gave you your space. Waited patiently like a good little boy. And then I suddenly got very impatient, and here I am.’
‘And howdidyou get in here?’
‘Bee let me in.’
‘What?’ He’s full of surprises tonight.
He nods. ‘I called her. Called her some choice names too, don’t you worry about it. She was surprisingly eager to help me, though. Asked how I was and everything.’
I give him a look of faked shocked delight, slapping a hand over my heart. ‘You got a “how are you?” What a privilege!’
‘I thought so. But I’ve gotten off track. Okay. So. I’ve apologised for our…conflict.’ He looks at me warily, daring me tochallenge his characterisation of the fight. I don’t. ‘But now I need to apologise for why you felt the need to run in the first place. I was a condescending prick. What right did I have to question a choice you were making for yourself? I should have just supported you.’
I scoff. ‘You don’t have to blindly sign on to every decision I make. Especially the stupid ones.’
‘But I don’t have to openly criticise you and make a difficult situation worse.’
‘That’s true,’ I concede. ‘I appreciate and accept your apology.’
‘Just like that?’ The hopeful look on his face makes him a decade younger in an instant.
‘Just like that.’
‘Lastly, and then IswearI will shut up because this has gone on forwaytoo long, and there’s too much distance between us…’ Nearly a metre and a half, but who’s counting? ‘And I’d like to touch you…if that’s what you want of course.’ Circle back to the point, Arthur. ‘But I definitely can’t touch you while we’re talking about the next part, so I’ll make it quick.’ He takes a deep breath, preparing himself. ‘You were right about William. Will. Wilbur. He’s a dick, and I just accepted it because he wasn’t a dick to me.’
I shake my head, stepping forward and reaching out to him before remembering the thing about not touching till we’re finished talking. My hand drops back to my side, and it feels so empty. ‘If you had no right to criticise my decisions aboutmyfriend, what right did I have to tell you to drop yours immediately?’
