‘Come on in!’ She’s way too upbeat in the morning.
When I enter, she’s also alone, sitting up in bed, scrolling on her phone. ‘Where have you been?’ she asks. ‘You look like a drowned rat.’
‘It’s raining,’ I say. ‘Where’s William?’
‘The boys have gone to get coffee. Didn’t Arthur tell you?’
‘He was gone when I woke up.’
‘Oh, okay. I told them what to get you.’ (A flat white.)
‘Thanks.’
We sit in silence for a moment, although my mind is shouting. Bee has returned her attention to her phone. I’m in the middle of mustering up the courage to bring up The Kiss to Bee, knowing that there will be a whole host of questions I don’t have the answers to.
‘How was the rest of your night?’ she asks, not looking up. This is the perfect lead-in.Funny you should mention that, Bee. Everything was going swimmingly, until Arthur grabbed my face and smushed it against his in a manner that was a kiss in only the strictest technical sense, and even though it was objectively terrible for all parties, I kind of want to do it again, and I am wondering if that makes me weird, and I don’t know why he did it…Can you please solve all my life problems? Pretty please?
I chicken out. ‘It was good. We watchedNever Been Kissed.’
‘Great movie,’ she responds.
‘Mmm.’
You’ve got this, Gertie. You’ve got this. All you have to do is just open up your mouth and sayArthur kissed me.‘So, I wanted to talk to you about something. Ask your advice, really.’
Good start. It gets Bee to look up from her phone. She scans my face for a second, almost as if she’s properly registering that I’m in the room. My eyes flick towards the door. Here’s hoping there’s a line at the coffee shop so I’ve got time to get this out. ‘So, last night…’
I don’t get any further. ‘Oh my God yes, I want to talkabout last night too! Do you mind if I go first?’ She doesn’t wait for a response. ‘Okay, so, you know how there was the drama with the whole one-bed thing?’ How on earth could I forget?
‘You know that there was another…’ Does she not wonder where we slept?
‘Well, that was because William and I actually hadn’t slept together yet.’
Wait, what? ‘Wait, what?’
She looks bashful. ‘Yeah.’
‘But you spend like five nights a week at his place.’ And you’vedefinitelymade innuendos about how good the sex is. I didn’t imagine that, right? That’s not even to mention the groping. The groping!
‘Don’t be silly, Gertrude, it’s not that much.’ It is. ‘We’ve just been taking it slow. It’s romantic.’
‘His idea or yours?’
‘It was mutual.’ His, then.
‘Well, evidently the allure of only one bed at a secluded beach cottage ended that for you last night?’ Bee just smiles like I didn’t hear exactly how it ended over and over and over. She gives a little shy nod. I don’t ask how it was because I definitely already know.
Her phone buzzes and she turns back to it, typing furiously as she bites her lip to contain the huge grin spreading across her face. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that they waited until they had chaperones in the next room to do the deed; it’s like a nice full-circle moment for them. As long as they’re not generally into having an audience and don’t have plans for me to be said audience, I can forgive (and try to forget) the thumpthump thumping of it all when she looks so happy. I wonder if Arthur knows, if he and William talk about that sort of thing.
Oh yeah. Arthur.
Speak of the devil. ‘We come bearing coffee!’ he calls out as the ancient screen door slams.
William appears in the open doorway. ‘Here’s your cap, babe,’ he says, handing Bee a large takeaway cup. He smiles at her in that way guys do when they’ve recently seen a woman naked: happy with just a hint of smug. Then he looks at me, stone-faced. ‘Arthur has yours in the kitchen.’
I am dismissed.
I contemplate going and hiding in the bedroom. I contemplate jumping out a window and making a run for it back to the beach. In the end, I really want my coffee.
