‘Nervous.’ I wrap my arms around my middle, making myself smaller.
He puts an arm around me. It’s the first time we’ve touched since karaoke. There is no reason for me to be thinking about it in those terms. ‘That’s totally fine! I want to find out if you’re an adrenaline junkie. I tried to go for something a bit more daring, but everything was so expensive, and then I found adeal online for the rock climbing, so I was like: close enough.’ I’m starting to suspect he has already had a coffee or two before the strong skinny latte he’s currently holding.
‘What do you mean bydaring?’ I ask.
‘What is the first thing that comes to mind when I sayskydiving?’
I don’t think. ‘Splat.’
‘Hmm. Probably best I didn’t go for that then. Unless, is it a general heights issue?’ He looks up at the wall dotted with colourful footholds. It’s about twenty metres high, I would guess. ‘Is this going to be okay?’
‘I don’tthinkit’s heights. I think it’s mostly that jumping out of a plane seems like a massively stupid thing to do. This should be fine. I think. Can’t guarantee I’ll make it look graceful though.’
‘I can guarantee that Iwon’t.’ We laugh and join Bee and William in front of the instructor Arthur scored in the deal.
Predictably, Bee and William look like an athleisure advertisement. They move in unison, leaping upwards, a cloud of purple and pink. (Seriously, even their outfits are complementary, and how do they not look like dildos in the helmets like I do? It doesn’t even look like they have wedgies from the harnesses. I, however, might never be able to extract my undies from my ass crack.) I hear Bee squeal joyfully, ‘I haven’t ever done this before!’ and William respond, ‘You’re a natural, baby.’
I feel a little more akin to one of those gargoyles on the side of a building, grey, hunched over, hoisting myself up with immense effort. Because I’m determined to keep going up, come hell or high water. I pull my gaze away from the Nikead to look at Arthur, but he isn’t next to me. He’s several feet below and not moving, his face almost pressed to the wall. I look around for the instructor, but he is now up with Bee, showing her how to swing between holds. Now she’s dangling with one arm and William is taking a video on his phone.
Back to Arthur. ‘Are you okay?’ I ask.
His voice is muffled. ‘So, you know how we were joking about you maybe being afraid of heights?’
‘Yeah.’
‘It is very much me, in fact, who is petrified.’
‘Arthur, you’re five metres off the ground.’
‘You can break bones in a five-metre fall.’ His voice cracks a little at the end.
‘You’re in a harness.’
‘Harnesses break.’ He is clutching the hold in front of him with both hands, and his knuckles are turning white.
There really isn’t anything else to do. I let go of the wall and began to feed my rope through the carabiners to lower to his level. When he senses me next to him, he looks up in alarm at my lack of attachment to the wall. Sweat beads dot his blotchy forehead.
‘Do you want to go back to the ground?’
He thinks for a moment. ‘No.’
‘So you want to keep climbing?’
‘Are those my only two choices?’
‘I don’t think they’ll let you move your couch in here.’
He takes a deep breath and looks me in the eye. ‘Okay. Let’s keep going.’
Given that Arthur booked this experience, I’m slightlybitter that the instructor has abandoned the struggling booker in favour of teaching William and Bee hot-people tricks further up the wall. He hasn’t even glanced back at us.You have four students, buddy!He isn’t getting a five-star review, which I know he will inevitably ask for, and he definitely isn’t getting a tag. Actually, he might get that from Bee, who actually has followers. It’s not really much of a threat coming from me.
I have no business directing Arthur, but it’s me or no one. He places his hands and feet where I tell him to, never looking down or up. Only at the wall or at me. I pat him on the back once, but he snaps at me to not let go of the wall, then immediately apologises.
When we reach the top, he chokes out a sob-laugh, looking at me with wide, relieved, shocked eyes. I hope he can see the pride reflected in mine before we both dissolve into laughter that goes on far too long. Eventually I realise he is stalling. Going down involves letting go of the wall. Going down involves trusting your own skills with the ropes.
So, just like the way up, we take it slow.
Really slow.
