Marin huffed. “Isn’t that the truth? Those middle of the night calls are rough, especially this time of year. It’scoldout there.”
Unbidden, Charlotte remembered that first night when Marin had come stumbling through the living room in her tiny sleep shorts. Charlotte had caught herself staring at Marin’s long, pale legs for reasons she hadn’t understood at the time.Oh.
Feeling flushed all over again, Charlotte hurried toward the door. She clipped on Ember’s leash and stepped outside, then set the puppy down in the snow. Ember whined, probably disappointed to have been whisked outside right after her mom got home. Charlotte might have lied about falling asleep on the couch, but she hadn’t lied about Ember needing to go out.
Sure enough, the puppy ran to her usual spot to take care of business. Meanwhile, Charlotte turned her face toward the late-afternoon sun, grateful for the cold breeze that slapped some sense into her, cooling off her malfunctioning hormones.
Not. Straight.
Was that possible? She was forty years old. She’d had queer friends her whole life. She’d even gone to gay bars with them. She’d been hit on by women, and she’d never feltanything. She’d only ever been attracted to men. So this was ... surely it wasn’t what it felt like.
Because this wasn’t what Charlotte had come to Vermont for. Marin was the one who’d come here looking to explore her sexuality. Charlotte just wanted to reconnect with her dad and to find out once and for all what happened to her mom. She wasn’t looking for arelationship right now, not with a man or anyone else, not after making such a mess of things with Darren.
Ember turned and ran back to the apartment door, eager to see Marin.Relatable.Charlotte checked her attitude, making sure she reentered the apartment ready to show the appropriate amount of enthusiasm as Marin told her about her date.
Pain radiated down Marin’s right leg, and her foot tingled with pins and needles. She grimaced as she shuffled toward her bedroom after taking Ember out for her bedtime potty trip. She’d had thebesttime on her date with Laura. It had gone better than she’d even dared to hope. They’d had fun. They’d hadchemistry. The kiss—even though it was only on the cheek—still made Marin’s heart race every time she thought about it.
But now her right thigh was on fire. She bit back a whimper as a particularly vicious jolt shot down her leg. She’d heard nerve pain described as feeling like an electric shock, and right now? Yeah, that felt accurate. Briefly, she remembered the way Charlotte had cared for her the last time this happened. She’d almost mentioned her discomfort tonight but hadn’t wanted Charlotte to feel obligated to care for her again, especially since things had felt strange between them a few times tonight.
Marin wasn’t sure if she was reading too much into it. Certainly her emotions had been all over the place before and after her date. Maybe she’d given off some weird energy that Charlotte was responding to, because Marin couldn’t figure out a logical explanation for why things had gotten weird. Maybe she’d only imagined that it had been awkward. With all her internal drama, it was hard to be sure.
Ember looked up at her and whined.
“You’re so intuitive, aren’t you?” Marin eased herself onto the edge of the bed. “I’m okay. The pain will pass. I’ll be fine in the morning.”
Ember whined again, then climbed onto the stool Marin had left by the bed for this exact purpose. From the stool, she hopped into bed with Marin. She pressed herself against Marin’s thigh, right where it hurt, in an unmistakable gesture of support.
Marin’s eyes filled with tears. How many nights had she lain awake beside Andrew, in agonizing pain but trying not to make noise so she didn’t disturb his sleep, wishing she had someone to hold her when she was hurting?
She could care for herself. She was doing it right now, after all. But to receive support from Charlotte and now Ember? It filled a void inside her she hadn’t realized existed. It felt sogoodto receive comfort from someone who genuinely cared about her.
“I love you,” she whispered to the puppy as tears slid over her cheeks. “I don’t know how you know I’m hurting, but you’re really helping me right now.”
Carefully, Marin slid all the way into bed and stretched out. She needed to put Ember in her crate for the night, but right now, she couldn’t bring herself to move again or to break this connection with the puppy. Ember stretched out beside her, keeping her body pressed against Marin’s right side, and not only was it comforting on an emotional level, but Ember’s body heat soothed her pain too.
Just a few more minutes. Usually she’d start with an ice pack to reduce inflammation before moving on to heat to relax her stiff muscles, but she’d forgotten to get a gel pack out of the freezer before she lay down. Anyway, Ember’s presence was more soothing than an ice pack at the moment.
Marin reached over and shut off the light. She touched her cheek, remembering the way it had felt when Laura kissed her there. Not that there had been any doubt in Marin’s mind that she was a lesbian, but that kiss surely validated all her private fantasies. It feltrightin a way nothing else in her life ever had.
Charlotte’s face flitted through her mind, and Marin’s pulse jumped. Yes, she was still powerfully attracted to her friend. It didn’thelp that Charlotte was so fucking beautiful. So sweet and thoughtful and supportive. She was everything Marin wanted in a life partner, except for being straight.
Marin exhaled, and she heard Ember do the same in the darkness beside her. Maybe they could just lie here together until the next time Ember needed to go out. Marin rested a hand against Ember’s soft fur. Darkness had sometimes felt so suffocating in the past.
She’d lain beside Andrew, feeling like the night was about to swallow her whole. She’d felt so devastatingly alone despite the man sleeping a few feet away. Sometimes, it had been hard to breathe. And now ... now she was gulping air, filling her lungs with it.
Now, she was free.
She inhaled, and as she breathed back out, a sob escaped. Hot tears spilled over her cheeks and onto the sheets as she let the emotions surface, as she acknowledged how many nights, how manyyears, she’d suffered alone.
Today, she’d gone on her first date with a woman. Laura had kissed her. Somehow it had been overshadowed by Charlotte’s hand on her cheek and the way she’d looked at Marin when she got home. Marin had no idea what any of it meant. She only knew that it was confusing and overwhelming at a time when her emotions were already out of control.
She sobbed, lying flat on her back since it hurt too much to move, until the pressure in her chest had eased. Her eyes slid shut, one hand still pressed into Ember’s fur. When she woke, early-morning sunlight filtered through the window. She was still on her back with Ember snuggled against her, and without warning, her eyes filled with tears all over again. Her puppy was so intuitive, it boggled her mind.
Ember had known what Marin needed last night and had given it to her instinctively. She’d slept in the bed instead of her crate, slept through the night even though she usually got up for a four a.m. potty trip, providing emotional and physical comfort to Marin all through the night.
Marin sat up, relieved to realize her nerve pain was gone. As she moved her legs, she could tell she had some sore muscles from yesterday’s snowshoeing adventures, but that was to be expected. Ember must be bursting to go outside. Marin sat up, reaching for the sweatpants and hoodie she kept beside the bed for quick overnight potty trips.
She stood, slipping them on over her sleep shorts and tank top, as Ember let out an urgent whine and trotted toward the door. Marin followed, wincing because Ember wasn’t the only one whose bladder was bursting. She stepped into her boots and took the puppy outside, grateful when Ember did her business quickly.
