“Of course not. Thank you for your honesty.”
She turned and strode down the hall, reeling, because that wasn’t the response she’d expected. She’d thought he might feed her a line about how adding a new professor to the department had allowed him to widen their course selection, but no ... he’d thought Audrey’s proposal was better. Fresher. More exciting.
She forced herself to unclench her fists, blinking away the dampness in her eyes. In that moment, she hated this university and everyone in it with such vehemence, her skin flushed hot. This place just kept pushing her down, and it hurt. So much. Her throat ached, but she wouldnotcry. If her mother had taught her anything, it was how to control her emotions.
Michelle shut herself in her office for a much-needed cup of chamomile tea because her day wasn’t over. The first Sustainability Committee meeting was this evening, and it promised to be a fittingly tedious ending to her awful day.
After taking a few fortifying sips of her tea, she opened her laptop to check her email. There was nothing of interest in her university account, but she’d received a message from Kate Fisher in her personal email. She and Kate went way back, having met when they were assigned as roommates their freshman year at Oxford.
After graduation, Kate put her career on hold to start a family, while Michelle followed Kelly to the States for her graduate studies. These days, Kate was married with three mostly grown children, still living in London, but she and Michelle had kept in touch on and off over the years. It was nice having someone from home to talk to, even if they didn’t have much in common anymore.
Kate’s email was ebullient, as her oldest had just gotten engaged. Michelle sent off a quick reply, extending her congratulations on the engagement. To her surprise, her phone began to ring almost immediately with a call from Kate.
“Figured I’d catch you while I knew you weren’t teaching,” Kate said when Michelle connected the call. “How’s the new semester?”
“It’s been ... frustrating, but that’s nothing new.” Briefly, she considered venting about what Stuart had just told her, but she found she didn’t want to think about it anymore, let alone talk about it. “Tell me more about Gemma and Amir’s engagement. Have they set a date?”
“They’re looking at next summer,” Kate said. “Can you believe I’m about to be the mother of the bride? At our age?”
“I can’t,” Michelle admitted. Kate had married young, and now it seemed her daughter was following in her footsteps. “But it’s wonderful news.”
“I’m over the moon about it.”
Michelle sipped her tea as Kate told her every detail about the engagement, grateful for the distraction from her tumultuous thoughts. They’d always been this way. Kate was as chatty as Michelle was reserved, and so, Michelle tended to listen while Kate talked. It might make them unlikely friends, and yet somehow, it just worked.
Last year, Michelle had allowed Kate to talk her into seeing a therapist after the divorce, and in hindsight, she could reluctantly agree that it had been a good idea. Her therapist had opened Michelle’s eyes to the emotional damage Kelly had caused, how much her belittling comments had eroded Michelle’s self-esteem. But outside those sessions, Michelle generally disliked talking about herself.
By the time she ended the call, Michelle felt somewhat calmer. She stood with a sigh. This meeting would likely be twice as long as it needed to be, dominated by men who talked too much. At least, with Audrey’s inclusion, Michelle would no longer be the only woman on the committee.
As she exited her office, she saw that the door to Audrey’s office was open. Audrey stood behind her desk packing up, about to begin the same walk.
Common courtesy said Michelle should wait so they could walk over together. But Michelle was still smarting from the knowledge that Stuart thought Audrey’s class was better than hers, and she couldn’t face Audrey right now. She just couldn’t.
Audrey looked up and spotted her, and Michelle had a glimpse of Audrey beginning to hold up a hand to ask Michelle to wait for her before she turned away, hurrying toward the stairwell.
As she exited the building, Michelle exhaled in relief to have made her escape. Her chest loosened in anticipation of a quiet walk alone, and yet she still felt a slight pinch of something she refused to put a name to as she imagined the hurt look on Audrey’s face when she realized Michelle had left without her.
Chapter Four
Audrey had expected so much more from her first Sustainability Committee meeting. She’d come up with a long list of initiatives she’d like to see implemented on campus, eager to share her ideas and make a good impression on her fellow committee members, and instead she’d sat and listened to a bunch of men use big words that ultimately meant very little.
“We’ve seen a thirteen percent increase in recyclables collected since installing the new bins around campus,” Harrison Bosko said. “I think we can consider that initiative a success.”
Audrey bit her tongue. These guys were still focused on recycling when there was so much more they could be doing to make the campus greener. But every time she’d tried to speak up and voice one of her suggestions, she’d been interrupted.
Dr. Thompson, who’d arrived ahead of Audrey after pointedly declining to walk over together, was seated at the opposite end of the conference table and hadn’t contributed much to the meeting. Mostly, she’d just gone along with what the men had proposed, which so far, was a lot of nothing.
Once the chatter about recycling bins died down, Audrey tried again. “I’d like to propose an initiative to add reusable containers in the dining halls. Students could receive a discount on their coffees if they brought in their—”
“There’s no room in the budget for the up-front cost,” an older professor from the finance department interrupted. “If there’s nothing else, I think we can conclude today’s meeting?”
Heads nodded all around the room, including Dr. Thompson’s. She hadn’t even looked at Audrey when she spoke. What was up with her? Audrey had had enough of the cold shoulder.
“Very well, folks, I think this was a productive start to the academic year,” Brad Folchuk, the committee chair, said. “As you know, we meet the first Thursday of every month, but we do have an additional meeting scheduled next Thursday to discuss the new environmental legislation passed by the Vermont House over the summer. I believe Dr. Sharma and Dr. Thompson are scheduled to present the findings of their research into how this new legislation may affect our campus initiatives?”
There were murmurings of agreement, and then the meeting began to break up. Audrey stood, glad to stretch her legs after sitting for nearly two hours. Several committee members came over to introduce themselves and ask how she was liking the campus so far, making friendly conversation. In her peripheral vision, Audrey saw Dr. Thompson slip out the door.
“Audrey, before you leave, I was hoping I could ask a favor.” Dr. Folchuk stood in front of her, an expectant look on his face. “Could you bring some refreshments for the next meeting, something for people to snack on? It’s dinnertime, and these meetings tend to run late.”
