Page 69 of Stars Collide


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“Can I confess a secret now?” Anna asked between kisses. Her hips were flush against Eden’s, and already, it was all Anna could do to keep herself still, not to rock into her, but she would never rush Eden before she was ready.

“Please.” Eden squirmed beneath her as if it was every bit as hard for her to hold back as it was for Anna.

“I might have realized I liked girls while I was watching your ‘Smash’ music video.”

Eden’s eyes widened. “Oh my God, really?”

Anna nodded. “Since we’re confessing our deepest secrets today, I’ve had a crush on you since I was about sixteen.”

“That’s ... that’s ...” Eden blinked at her. “I’m not sure what that is.”

“Flattering?” Anna suggested hopefully.

Eden laughed. “Yeah, I guess it is. Wait. Did Camille know that? When we met outside the Grammys?”

“No! Oh God, I would never have joked about a celebrity crush when I was with her.”

“Why not?” Eden asked.

“Because ...” Anna slid over so she was sitting beside Eden instead of in her lap. “She was so jealous. She would have freaked out.”

“What was it like with Camille?” Eden asked, turning sideways so her legs rested over Anna’s. “Since we’re sharing. I mean, if it’s not too hard to talk about.”

“It’s hard, but ... I don’t mind telling you about her. In fact, I think Ineedto tell you about her so you can understand where my head is when I worry about repeating past mistakes.” Anna blew out a breath.

“I had a crush on her almost as soon as I started training with her, but I never dreamed she would feel the same way. She’s older than me and so sophisticated. In my eyes, she could have anyone she wanted.”

“In my eyes, why would anyonenotchoose you?” Eden said.

Anna pressed a hand against her chest, giggling. “Stop! You’re going to give me a complex. Anyway, one night after my session, she kissed me, and before I knew it, we were dating. She took me to all these fancy places, and I was so in awe of being with her, but in hindsight, that was part of the problem.”

“An imbalance of power?” Eden asked. “Because she was your teacher?”

“Yes, and because I idolized her. I never felt like her equal, and she took advantage of that. She would tell me what to wear and decide where we were going when we went out. I was dazzled by it all ... until I wasn’t.”

Eden gripped her fingers and squeezed.

“She was controlling,” Anna said. “And so jealous. It bothered her that I’m pansexual. I think she was afraid I’d leave her for a man or some bullshit like that. Anytime she saw me talking to someone else, she was convinced I was flirting, and she’d get so angry.”

“Oh, Anna ...” Eden’s brows were pinched in concern.

“She’d demand that I stay by her side if we went to a party together, and for a while, I just went along with it. She’s a very hard woman to say no to.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Eventually, my rose-colored glasses came off, and I started to realize that I wasn’t happy, that this wasn’t a healthy relationship. Zoe helped me see that she was being emotionally abusive, that our whole relationship was toxic. So I broke it off.”

“Good for you,” Eden said. “That must have been so hard to do.”

Anna flinched at the memory. “Camille didn’t take it well. She got really mean and acted like she’d been doing me a favor by dating me, like I meant nothing to her at all. That was about two years ago. But then, we’d see each other at events or whatnot, and God, that chemistry was still there. She still had this hold over me when she came into a room. I went home with her a few times, and twice it lasted longer than a night. It took me a long time to finally get her out of my system. I’m so ashamed when I think about how many times I went back to her.”

Eden’s eyes were sympathetic. “I can’t really relate, since I’m just figuring out why I’ve never felt that kind of physical pull toward someone before, but I think you owe yourself some grace. You were doing the best you could. When did things end for good?”

“About a year ago. We had an awful fight. I don’t think I’ve ever been that angry in my life. It was like someone turned on the light, and I could finally see her for who she was. That was it. I still see her around—like at the Grammys—but there’s no spark for me anymore. I just try to be polite.”

“Your politeness is probably more than she deserves,” Eden said.

“Probably, but it’s not worth getting into another fight with her.” Anna looked at Eden, pondering whether to say this next part, but deep down, she knew it needed to be said. “That’s why I was so skittish about getting involved with you. There were too many parallels to my relationship with Camille. The power imbalance. You’re older. I idolizedyou. You elevated my career by bringing me on board for your tour, and you could snatch that away. You could fire me from the tour if things between us went south.”