Eden sucked in a breath, closing her eyes for a moment as she pulled herself together. Then she gave Anna a grateful smile as she took over, singing the next line. Eden turned to face the audience, fixing her gaze on an empty seat several rows back, a safe focal point as shechanneled herself into the music. To her relief, the rest of the song passed smoothly.
She gave Anna a quick hug the way she always did at the end of “After Midnight,” trying not to notice the little flutter in her belly as they touched. She couldn’t think about it or about Anna, not until she was back at the hotel, alone in her room.
Eden threw herself into the next song, relieved to feel her equilibrium return. She finished the show without another misstep, walking off the stage to thundering applause. Anna was waiting for her backstage, as had become her habit, and she, Eden, Kyrie, Paris, and Taylor rode to the hotel together. No one mentioned Eden’s fumble. To them, it was just a missed line. These things happened all the time during live shows.
How could anyone know the world had shifted beneath her feet on that stage tonight? That she was currently questioning everything she’d thought she understood about herself? Her brain was tuned to existential crisis, but she was reasonably confident that her expression was as cool and collected as ever.
At the hotel, she and Anna paused to sign autographs for a group of fans clustered outside. Well, “fans” might have been a generous term, as the majority of them asked her not to personalize their photos, which meant they were actually autograph hounds looking to sell photos of her online, but at least they weren’t asking her about#Edanna.
Taylor kept them in order until all the photos had been signed and then ushered Eden into the lobby of the hotel, with Anna and the rest of their group in tow. They all got into the elevator together.
“See you in the morning,” Anna said as she exited on her floor.
“Night, Anna.”
Kyrie and Paris got off at the next floor.
“I’ll pick you up at seven to head to the airport,” Paris said.
Eden nodded. “I’ll be ready.”
The elevator finally reached Eden’s floor, and Taylor walked her to her door, making sure Eden got inside safely. She said good night, andEden was finally alone. Thank God. She headed straight for the bathroom, stripped off her clothes, and stepped into the shower.
She let out a sigh of relief as she scrubbed the stage makeup from her face. Beneath the shower’s hot spray, her mind wandered, reliving that moment with Anna, the moment she’d lost her place in the song because she was ... what? What had that been? A reaction to the#EDANNAsign?
Eden couldn’t think about it right now, not while she was naked in the shower, hands on her body as she washed away sweat and makeup. Especially not while her body was reminding her how long it had been since she’d taken care of certain needs. She was too unsettled to take care of them tonight, too confused about why she was feeling this way, maybe too afraid of whose face she might see in her fantasies.
Get a grip, Eden.
She finished her shower and dressed in pajamas, then sat in bed with her phone and a bottle of water to wind down with her usual postshow ritual so she could sleep. But tonight, sleep didn’t seem to be anywhere in her future. She kept replaying the scene onstage. Had it started when she saw the#EDANNAsign, or had she been looking at Anna first?
Surely it had started with the sign. She saw the sign, and it reminded her how some of the fans wanted her and Anna to be a couple. Obviously, that was why she’d felt those sparks or whatever they were when she looked at Anna afterward.
Because Eden was thirty-six years old, and she’d never been attracted to a woman before. Then again, had she everreallybeen attracted to a man? She shook her head at herself. She was being ridiculous. Surely, if she wasn’t straight, she would already know.
After she’d finally rid herself of her first manager and the team of overbearing men he’d hired, Eden had made a point to surround herself with capable women. She’d always been around women. And she’d always appreciated women. Of course Eden admired the female form.Women were beautiful. So many curves, a softness that belied their underlying strength. But that didn’t mean ...
Eden felt an uncomfortable tug in her stomach. She’d always been drawn to women. When she watched movies or TV shows, she inevitably ended up talking about the actresses while her friends gushed about which actors they thought were the hottest. Did that ... mean something?
She unlocked her phone and opened Twitter. Her fingers searched#Edannabefore she could stop herself, andGod, there were a lot of posts. Hundreds from tonight alone. She saw photos of herself and Anna onstage together, photos of Eden staring at Anna with a dazed look as she lost track of the song.
@ChaiLatte999: Did anyone else notice the way Eden totally forgot the words to her own song tonight while she was gazing at Anna?! Girl has it so bad, and I LOVE IT SO MUCH. #Edanna
@EdensGarden565: OMG I need to see video of this!!! #Edanna4ever
@PinkCookiesxx: Y’all are in luck because I GOT IT ON VIDEO #Edanna4ever
Eden’s thumb hovered over the play button on the attached video, but at the last moment she closed Twitter instead. She blinked, and tears spilled over her cheeks. It was bad enough she’d questioned her sexuality onstage in front of thirty thousand people, but someone had gotten it on video.
Story of her fucking life.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“Mom!” Anna squealed as she launched herself into her mother’s arms. Earlier that morning, she’d flown from Las Vegas to San Francisco with Eden and the rest of their entourage. From there, everyone else had gone to the hotel, but Anna had come straight to her parents’ house. She’d be staying here tonight after the show.
“Look at you, my budding superstar,” her mom murmured, hugging Anna tightly. “You’re glowing.”
“I’m really happy, Mom.” She pulled back to grin at her mom before the sound of her dad clearing his throat interrupted them.
