“A lot of things,” I told her, going for another hearty sip of my martini. I didn’t have to drive tonight, and maybe I needed to get drunk with my besties. Maybe it would help me figure out what to do with my life.
“Well, walk us through some of them,” Courtney said.
“I think I love her,” I said, surprising myself. But after just a few hours away, I already missed her with a fierceness I’d never felt after Sabrina left me. My life felt brighter and happier with Taylor in it and somehow empty without her.
“I think you do too,” Emily said with an amused smile. “It’s written all over your face every time to talk about her.”
“Then how am I going to fix this? Even if I decline the offer from Bellair—which I’d really hate to do because it’s a perfect fit for me and I’m kind of desperate for a steady paycheck—how do I not feel like I’m just giving up my life here for Taylor?”
“Is that how you feel?” Courtney asked.
“Part of me does,” I admitted. “I think I could be happy in Vermont, but I don’t know…this all happened so fast, and I feel like she’s not willing to give me any time to figure how to make it work.”
“I think you’re both panicking right now,” Emily said. “She’s afraid of losing you if you stay here in Boston, and you’re torn between your life here and what you had with her in Vermont. You both need to take a breath and be patient with each other.”
“It felt an awful lot like she was about to break up with me on the phone,” I said.
“Well, hopefully you’ll be able to have a more civilized conversation face-to-face tomorrow,” Emily said. “And if she’s not willing to do that for you, then maybe this isn’t meant to be.”
I picked up my martini and downed the rest of the glass in a single gulp. Emily was right about one thing. I was definitely starting to panic. By the time I got back to my condo that night, I wasn’t sure what to think, but one thing seemed certain. I had to tell Taylor how I felt about her when I got back to Vermont tomorrow. And maybe I needed to give myself some official closure with Sabrina while I was here.
To that end, I sent her a quick text to ask if she could meet me for coffee in the morning, and then I got in bed, exhausted but wired. I’d missed this luxurious mattress, but my bed felt cold and empty without Taylor and Violet in it. Sabrina responded, and we made plans to meet at our favorite café, and then I finally fell into a restless sleep.
The next morning, I was up and showered and packed by eight, already anxious to get on the road and back to Vermont. But first, coffee. I reached the café before Sabrina, so I went ahead and got my own cappuccino so there’d be no confusion over whether this was a date once she got here, no awkward moment where she offered to buy me a drink.
I sat at a small table in back and sipped my cappuccino while I read through the offer package Allison had sent last night. The salary and benefits were better than I’d hoped for, one of them in particular.
“Phoebe.”
I looked up to find Sabrina standing in front of me. Her blonde hair was shorter than it had been the last time I saw her. It barely reached her chin now, with long layers and a streak of lavender on one side. She looked great, and yet, I felt absolutely nothing at the sight of her. Not hurt, not anger, and definitely not affection. “Hi, Sabrina.”
“It’s really good to see you,” she said, sitting in the seat across from me. “You look fantastic.”
I smiled. “I was just thinking the same thing about you.”
We stared at each other for a few long seconds of silence and then reached for our drinks at almost the exact same time. Sabrina let out a sound that was half laugh, half sigh. “This is awkward, isn’t it?”
“It is,” I agreed. “But we were both so upset the last time we saw each other, I thought maybe we deserved a proper goodbye.”
“Is that what this is?” she asked, giving me a cautious look.
“Yes,” I told her. “I’ve moved on.”
“Oh.” She blinked, dropping her gaze to her drink.
“You didn’t think…?” My stomach soured that she might have thought I was taking her back.
“No,” she said quickly. “Although I’m glad you agreed to see me today, because I owe you a real apology. It was shitty of me to dump you the way I did. I just got overwhelmed, and…well, I think the truth is that I wasn’t ready for a serious relationship.”
“We weren’t that serious,” I said, frowning. My relationship with Taylor already felt a hundred times more important than what I’d shared with Sabrina.
“I’m going to take some time and focus on myself,” Sabrina said. “And I’m truly sorry for causing you more pain at a time when you were already hurting.”
“I appreciate that,” I told her, reaching under the table for the bag I’d placed there. “I found a few of your things at my place that I thought you might like to have back.”
She peered in the bag with a sheepish smile. “I was wondering where that sweater went. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”