“When did you?” I hadn’t seen Taylor as anything but a friend until shortly before our first kiss, after she’d come out and awakened in me the idea that I might not be straight either.
“Do you really want to know?” she asked, suddenly serious.
“Yes,” I answered immediately, and then I had a moment of panic wondering how long she’d had feelings for me. Was it much longer than my own?
“The summer we were fourteen,” she answered quietly.
“Oh,” I blurted. “Really?”
“Yep.” She looked away, her body tensing slightly beneath my fingers.
“Tell me,” I implored. Fourteen? I’d been particularly miserable that summer. My parents were fighting nonstop, and they’d each called me repeatedly, asking uncomfortable questions about the other. Apparently, I’d been too caught up in my family drama to notice what was happening with Taylor.
“You were my first crush,” she whispered. “You were my best friend, and suddenly, I was fantasizing about kissing you. It was a very confusing summer.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?” I asked, dumbfounded.
“I was terrified of ruining our friendship. At the time, the idea that you might be gay too seemed inconceivable. I didn’t even know for sure yet thatIwas gay. I thought it might just be a phase. Maybe all girls fantasized about kissing their best friend.”
Now it was my turn to laugh. “That’s exactly how I felt two summers later, after you came out to me. I started to fantasize about kissingyouand wondered all the same things.”
“And here we are.” She brushed a hand through my hair.
“I know you need to go home soon, but will you come back tomorrow?” I asked. “I’d love to spend some of our Saturday together.”
“I can do that,” she said, but there was something hesitant in her tone, like she wasn’t sure how to approach a relationship with me. I knew she was afraid of getting hurt, because I was too.
“Well, I’ll be around all day, just hanging out with Violet and getting some things done around the house. I’m going to try to get all the trim painted this weekend.”
“Okay. Would you mind if I bring Minnie and Blue and we go for a hike together? Violet should be fine by herself for a few hours.”
“Sure. Bring them,” I agreed. Unspoken between us was the fact that we needed to talk. We needed to sit down in the light of day and figure out what happened next. Were we going to try to make a real go of this, or were we just having some fun together while I was in Vermont?
“It’s a date, then.” She rolled toward me, giving me a kiss. “And I need to get going, before I get too tired to drive home.”
“Right.” I was pretty damn tired myself. The urge to stay right here beside her and sleep was strong. Instead, I tossed the quilt back and crawled out of bed.
Taylor went into the guest bedroom to gather her clothes, reappearing a minute later to kiss me good night. “I’ll give you a call in the morning.”
I nodded. “Or just show up if you want. I’m not going anywhere tomorrow.”
“Okay.” And with that, she was gone.
I stood in the living room, watching the lights from her SUV as she backed out of my driveway and drove away. And then I stood there for another minute, just replaying our evening together in my mind, because holy shit. It had all been so amazingly perfect, and now I wasn’t sure what to think or how to feel. Could we find a way to make this work?
The telltale click of toenails against the laminate floors announced Violet’s arrival. She wandered into the kitchen, licked my leg, and walked to her water bowl for a drink.
“You probably need to go out again before I go to bed, don’t you?” I asked her.
She looked up with that solemn face, but her tail was wagging. I clipped her leash to her collar, and she led the way down the stairs into the backyard. It was cooler outside now, cold enough to make me shiver as I stood at the bottom of the stairs. While I waited for Violet, I looked up at the canopy of stars overhead. It never ceased to amaze me how many stars you could see here in Vermont.
Violet was always quick about her business late at night. She peed and headed right back up the steps. I followed her in, locking the door behind me before bending to unclip her leash. I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash up, and by the time I came back out, she was asleep in her pen with the puppies. Since they were still annoyingly noisy during the night, I went into the guest room and curled up in the bed I’d so recently shared with Taylor. Smiling, I closed my eyes and slipped into a deep, peaceful sleep.
When I woke, sunlight streamed through the thin lacy curtains over my window. I stretched, smiling as I remembered last night. My body was sore in all the right places, satisfaction still swimming in my veins. As I climbed out of bed, I saw that Violet wasn’t up yet, so I took the opportunity to step into a quick shower.
From there, I fixed breakfast and weighed the puppies. They were all growing nicely, even little Cherry. She wriggled in my hands, so warm and soft. Her eyes were still closed, but even so, she looked much more puppy-ish than she had when she was born. They all did. They’d be running all over the place in no time, and while that was exhausting and annoying to think about, I couldn’t really be upset about it either, because they were so cute.
Actually, I was looking forward to seeing what their little faces looked like once their eyes were open and all the mayhem they caused when they started running around. It was only for a few weeks.
