“Do you want to take it?” she asked hesitantly.
Sophie sighed deeply. “It’s complicated. I’d have a steady job, earning a really good salary, and I love that theater. It might be a good change.”
“Might?” Jules pressed, trying to ignore the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.
“I wouldn’t be performing. I’d have to give up my Broadway dreams,” Sophie said. “And I’d have to move back here. It’s…like I said, it’s complicated.”
“How soon do you have to decide?”
“I have a month or so to think about it,” Sophie said. “I’m sorry, Jules. I wasn’t going to tell you about this the day after Christmas and certainly not over the phone, especially after what you’ve been through with your grandma.”
“No, I’m glad you told me,” Jules said, burrowing deeper in the covers. She felt like she was drowning, like those perfect weeks she and Sophie had shared together before Christmas were drifting away from her.
“I don’t want to leave the city,” Sophie said, her voice gone quiet. “I don’t want to leaveyou, not when we’ve just started something I can’t seem to get enough of.”
“I don’t want you to leave either.” Jules hugged her comforter, wishing it was Sophie. How could she think of giving up performing when Jules had never known her to want anything else? “But I also don’t want to hold you back, if this is what you want.”
Sophie sighed again. “I don’t know what I want right now.”
An uncomfortable silence descended between them. Jules sucked in a deep breath and blew it out. She’d already been out of sorts, already unsettled over the thought of coming out to her mom, especially after their chaotic holiday. She’d hoped this conversation with Sophie would settle her nerves, would remind her why she was doing this, would set the stage for Jules to introduce her mother to her girlfriend next week in New York.
And now…now she wasn’t even sure she’d have a girlfriend on opening night.
“I’m sorry,” Sophie said.
“Don’t apologize. Things happen. People move.” Jules knew it well. She’d given up her life in Miami and precious years with her dad to chase her dreams in New York. “I can’t possibly be impartial here, because obviously I want you to stay, but I also don’t want you to be too quick to give up on your dream. You’ve worked so long and so hard to get as far as you have on Broadway, andIt’s in Her Kissmay open doors for you.”
“I want to believe that’s true,” Sophie said, a hint of vulnerability in her tone that Jules had never heard before. “But I’ve been auditioning for a decade, and I have so little to show for it.”
“Your name might not be on the marquee, but you’ve accomplished a lot. I’ve seen you perform. I know how good you are and how much you love it. I believe in you, Soph.”
“Thanks. I appreciate that,” Sophie said. “I have a lot to think about.”
16
Sophie climbed the stairs to Jules’s apartment, excitement and nerves warring for dominance inside her. They hadn’t seen each other in a week, and so much had happened during that time. The door opened before Sophie could raise her hand to knock, and Jules stood there in formfitting silver pants, a black top, and the kind of smile that knocked Sophie’s knees right out from under her. Just as quickly, their arms were around each other, and Sophie was enveloped in the warmth of Jules’s embrace.
“I missed you so much,” Jules whispered against her neck.
“So did I.” She turned her head, bringing their lips together as Jules tugged her into her apartment. Vaguely, Sophie heard the door click shut behind her as she kissed Jules, hands tangled in the honeyed depths of her hair. It was meant to have been a “hello” kiss, but neither of them seemed in any hurry to end it.
Jules’s arms were tight around her, hands fisted in the back of Sophie’s coat as her tongue slipped into Sophie’s mouth. It felt good, so good,toogood, after everything that had happened while they were apart.
Finally, Jules lifted her head, her expression dazed. “Wow.”
“Yeah.” Sophie reached out to tuck a lock of hair behind Jules’s ear. “You know, I wouldn’t complain if we stayed in tonight.”
“No way,” Jules told her. “The party will be so fun, and we can finish catching up after. You’re staying here tonight, right?”
Sophie patted the bag slung over her shoulder. When Jules had called to invite her to a fancy New Year’s Eve party overlooking Times Square that promised to be a “who’s who” of the theater world, she couldn’t say no, even if part of her would rather stay right here, strip Jules out of those sexy-as-hell silver pants, and have a private celebration of their own.
Sophie set down her bag, deciding to keep her coat on if they were indeed heading out. “So, are we attending together…ortogether?”
Jules’s radiant expression dimmed. “I don’t know. I think maybe because we’re castmates, we should be discreet about it, don’t you?”
“As castmates, yes. But if this wasn’t a Broadway party?” Sophie couldn’t help asking, because Jules hadn’t said anything about coming out to her family, which made Sophie think that she hadn’t.
Jules’s gaze dropped, a pained expression crossing her face, and Sophie felt guilty for dampening the mood between them. “I didn’t do it, if that’s what you’re asking. After my grandma fell, everything just went sideways.”
