9
When she was a little girl, Jules loved to build “sand islands” at the beach. Not castles. What was the point of building a castle that wouldn’t last? She would scoop sand into a mound and cover it with shells and seaweed and anything else she could find to decorate with. Then she’d sit back and watch as the tide came in, waves sliding around her island to surround it, until finally, they grew so big and strong, they swallowed it whole.
She felt like one of those sand islands at rehearsal that week. She could see the approaching tide, waves lapping at her toes. On the surface, nothing between her and Sophie had changed. But there was a current running beneath all their interactions now, secret smiles and touches that hinted at their burgeoning relationship. Every day, it grew a little bit stronger, swelling with the tide.
Sophie had been clear about her wants and needs, and now Jules had to decide whatshewanted. Was she ready to come out to her family and make things with Sophie official? Or should she put that aside for now and focus on the show? Opening night loomed ever closer, and she couldn’t afford to let her focus slip, not for her love life, not for anything.
Either way, she needed to make up her mind, and soon. Because right now she felt mired in quicksand, and it was slowly sucking her down.
As she walked to the theater on Wednesday morning, her phone started to ring from inside her purse. She tugged off her gloves to retrieve it, revealing her mom’s name on the screen. “Hi, Mami,” she answered.
“How is my favorite Broadway star?” Paula asked.
“Currently freezing my butt off while I walk to work.”
“Rehearsals still going well?”
“Yeah. Exhausting but good,” Jules told her.
“And how’s Sophie?”
Jules’s cheeks heated. She’d talked a lot about Sophie ever since they met during auditions, but her mom thought Sophie was a friend, and nothing about Jules’s feelings for her this week were very friendly. “She’s great. We’ve been spending a lot of time together.”
“It’s so nice that you two have become friends.”
“Yeah,” Jules agreed.
“Any new men in your life?” Paula asked.
“No.” Jules felt an uncomfortable pinch in her stomach. She hated lying to her mom, even by omission.
“No handsome costars? What about the one you told me about—Amir? Didn’t you have him over to your apartment to run lines together?”
“Yeah, as part of a group. And I like him a lot, but I am absolutely not interested in him that way.”
“Okay, okay,” her mom said with a laugh.
“What about you?” Jules asked, turning the tables on her. “Have you done anything with that Match.com profile we set up when you were here last month?” It was something of a sore subject. Her mom insisted she wasn’t ready to date, but Jules’s dad had been gone for five years now. Her mom was only fifty-three. She deserved to have a second chance at love.
“Well…” Paula hedged. “I did exchange a few emails with a man last month, but I don’t know. It just didn’t feel right.”
“Mami,” she warned. “You know I’m going to push you on this when I’m home for Christmas. You should at least go on a date. Have some fun.”
“We’ll see.”
“Okay,” Jules agreed. “My fingers are freezing, so I’m going to let you go, but I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Yes. Stay warm.”
“I’ll try.” She ended the call, sighing as she tucked the phone into her purse and sank her frozen fingers into her pockets. There was an unsettled feeling deep inside her that only seemed to grow with each step she took.
The tide was coming in, swirling around the island on which she stood, and she couldn’t hold it back much longer. But…maybe she didn’t want to. She didn’t want to deny her attraction to Sophie, and she didn’t want to lie to her mom. She had to trust that even if her mom was uncomfortable with Jules’s sexuality, they’d get through it together. It was going to be a terrifying conversation, but Jules had to have faith.
She could do this. She was going to have to do it, for her own sake. She blew out a breath, watching as it crystalized in the cool morning air, giving weight to her decision. Ahead, she spotted Sophie approaching the back door of the theater, brown curls protruding from beneath her hat.
“Sophie!” she called.
Sophie turned with a smile, waving in Jules’s direction. She held the door open for Jules as she approached. “Good morning.”
