She pressed her hands against her flushed cheeks. God, she needed to get a grip. But her grip had slipped the moment she decided to walk into Dragonfly tonight. Because Josie surely knew as well as Eve did that she was here because she wanted to wind up in Josie’s bed again tonight. They’d barely gotten a chance to explore each other last night. It hadn’t been enough. She needed more. Surely another night would do the trick.
She walked into the kitchen to prepare bottles, and then carried all the supplies with her into the living room. Hamilton and Blanche were awake, crawling around their playpen on wobbly legs. They’d gotten so much bigger—and stronger—in the two weeks since she’d pulled them out of that trash can.
“Hey, you,” she said, lifting Blanche into her lap. “Hungry?”
Blanche meowed, heading straight for the bottle like a little pro. So different from that first night, when Eve hadn’t been able to wake her, when she’d feared the kitten might die in her hands. Tonight, Blanche latched onto the bottle and drank hungrily. When she’d finished eating, Eve cleaned her up and let Blanche snuggle in her lap while she cared for the other kittens.
Josie’s orange cat sat on the couch beside her, staring at her while she worked. It was unsettling. Eve did her best to ignore him. Once the three boys had been fed and cared for and returned to their playpen, Eve looked down at the little white kitten. Blanche was nestled against her stomach, face pressed against her shirt, fast asleep. For a few minutes, Eve just sat there, fingers stroking her soft fur. Her gaze caught on a droplet of spilled formula on her blouse.
Dammit.
Tears flooded her eyes, and since no one was here to see, she let them drip silently over her cheeks as she thought of the daughter she’d never met, the middle-of-the-night feedings that had never happened, the loss that sometimes got swallowed up in the enormity of Lisa’s death. Eve had lost her whole world that night. The fear, the pain,so much blood, as she’d held on to Lisa’s limp body in the seat beside her, praying for the paramedics to arrive in time to save her, to save them both.
She sucked in a shaky breath, forcing the memories away. She lifted Blanche from her lap and laid her against the stuffed animal in the playpen where her brothers were piled up, sleeping peacefully. Nigel still sat there, watching her.
“Get lost,” she snapped, turning her back on him.
It was ridiculous, letting herself get worked up like this over a drop of spilled formula.Crying over spilled milk.Eve wasn’t looking for a family, not anymore, and she didn’t want to be reminded of the one she’d lost. She stood, drying her cheeks before walking into Josie’s bathroom to fix her makeup. She shouldn’t be here. Josie—and the damn kittens—stirred things in Eve that she didn’t want stirred.
She removed all evidence of her tears, cleaned up the bottle-feeding supplies, and headed downstairs to the bar. Dragonfly’s noise and crowd was a welcome distraction, silencing the ghosts in her head as she slid onto her stool. She sat there, letting it fill her, the music, the buzz of conversation, the liquor still warming her blood. And she relaxed, resting an elbow against the bar.
A glass appeared in front of her, and she looked into Josie’s smiling face. “Babies all cared for?”
“They’re kittens, not babies.” Her voice came out harsher than she’d intended. She took a hearty gulp of her drink, avoiding Josie’s unflinching gaze. “But yes, they’re fine.”
“Good,” Josie said, seemingly unscathed by Eve’s sharp edges. She leaned closer, purple hair falling around her face like a protective curtain, sealing Eve in a space where no one existed but the two of them. “Wish I could speed up the clock.”
“Why?” Eve asked, hoping she sounded more nonchalant than she felt.
“Because I’m impatient to take you upstairs and get you naked.”
“Who says I’m here for sex?” Eve said, toying with her glass as she leveled Josie with her coolest stare. Second nights allowed for unwanted baggage. She needed to get over herself and leave right now, before she made this thing between them any more complicated than it already was.
Josie laughed. Shelaughed, damn her. Eve might have tossed her drink in Josie’s smug face if she wasn’t so ridiculously aroused by the sight. Josie leaned in again, something wicked dancing in her eyes. “You’re cute when you lie.”
* * *
Josie had been tryingto speed up the clock all night, and now that it was finally closing time, she wanted to slow it back down. Because Eve wasn’t here. She’d gone upstairs almost an hour ago to feed the kittens a second time, and she must have slipped out the back, because she hadn’t returned to the bar. And Josie was irrationally disappointed about it.
Worse, it was her fault. She shouldn’t have teased Eve earlier. It was a big fucking deal that she’d shown up at all, and Josie should have respected that. She should have appreciated how difficult this was for Eve. Instead, she’d turned it into a joke, and Eve had bolted.
And she might not come back. She’d taken an emotional risk, and Josie had laughed in her face. Ugh. She could cry she was so upset with herself.
“You okay?” Adam asked as he bent in front of the dishwasher.
“Yep. Just tired.”
“Where’d Eve go?”
“Home,” she told him, trying to keep the frustration out of her voice.
“Bummer,” he said, thankfully knowing better than to pry right now.
“Yep.” She went through the rest of her routine methodically, wiping down the bar and tabletops, cleaning and straightening, transferring all the money from the cash register to the safe in her office, setting everything to order. She said good night to Adam and Elizabeth, and then she trudged upstairs to her apartment…alone.
It was just as well, because she was so tired, she could hardly see straight. Weekend bartending hours were no joke. She locked the door behind herself, grateful that at least the kittens had been fed, so she could fall face-first into bed for a few hours before she’d have to get up and feed them again.
She was halfway across the room before she saw her. Eve was on the couch, slumped on her side, fast asleep with Nigel curled up beside her, keeping watch. Josie slapped a hand over her mouth, swallowing her surprise. Tentatively, she walked closer, making sure the image before her was real. It was no trick of her sleep-deprived and eternally optimistic eyes.
