Still no reply. His breath hitched, but his determination didn’t waver. He wasn’t going to lose her here. Not like this. Not under this frozen grave. “You’re not allowed to give up,” he said, his words jumbled and rushed. “That’s not who you are, Maddie. And I need you. I need you to fight with me.”
He hadn’t prayed since he was a boy.
Not when his father fell ill. Not even during those empty years where he’d lost the ability to want anything at all. But now, with Maddie buried beneath him, her life balancing on the strength of his arms, he prayed.
Not for miracles.
Just for her.
Let her breathe. Let her wake. Let her laugh again and argue with him over absolutely everything. Let her glare at him the way she did when she was hiding a smile. Let her live.
He would take the pain, the frostbite, the collapse of every part of him that still worked if it meant she would live.
And the truth? The thing he hadn’t dared speak, even to himself?
He didn’t know how to go back to a world without her in it.
She’d marched into his life in that green cloak and unsettled everything. Challenged every belief he had. Every line he’d drawn to keep others out. And he hadn’t just let her in, he’d wanted her there. He needed her there.
The thought of failing her, of this being the last moment they shared broke something in him.
And yet… if this was the end, he would meet it like this. Holding the line. Protecting her. Loving her.
Even if she never heard the words.
Even if she never got the chance to say them back.
The snow pressed tighter against his body, his weight sinking against it as his strength drained. He wracked his mind for something else to tell her, something to keep her with him. “I…” He hesitated, his chest tightening in a way that wasn’t caused by the cold. His voice softened, barely audible. “I couldn’t bear it, you know, if…” He stopped again, feeling the words scrape at him, raw and exposed. “I’ll get us out of here,” he promised, reaching as deeply into himself as he could muster. “Even if you hate me for shoving you like that, I’ll make sure you’re all right.”
His arm trembled uncontrollably, and he gritted his teeth again. “I’ll bring you home. I don’t care about the rest.” He gave a hoarse chuckle as if any of this could be lightened. “Wouldn’t be the first time you’ve been repulsed by me.”
And still, he propped himself up, the weight of endless snow pressing down, the cold gnawing into his very bones. Because it didn’t matter what it cost him. Maddie was beneath him, alive, barely moving but still his. And so long as she drew even the shallowest breath, he’d fight for both of them. If she didn’t hate him now, he reckoned she might once they escaped, especially when she realized what he had done. But he’d bear that too, gladly. With Maddie safe, he’d bear anything.
Would she respond?
Chapter Twenty
The snow shiftedabove her, weight grinding down in a slow collapse, and Maddie’s chest seized with panic. Then there was a tug, firm and deliberate, cutting through the suffocating cold. Air rushed back into her lungs as she was dragged free, coughing violently against the damp chill clinging to her face. She blinked rapidly, her snow-laden lashes stinging with the effort, until his face appeared above her, pale and stark against the icy void around them.
“Maddie,” Sebastian breathed, his voice hoarse with strain. His hands didn’t leave her shoulders, as though ensuring she was fully out of danger. His lips moved again, murmuring something she couldn’t catch over the ache in her ears and the frantic rasp of her own breathing.
She coughed once more, sharper this time, and finally managed words. “Sebastian…”
“You didn’t answer! Do you know what I was thinking?” She’d never seen him sound so scared.
Her voice cracked, weighted with the enormity of what had just happened. “You… you saved me.”
His jaw tightened, and he looked away, almost embarrassed. “It wasn’t much,” he said gruffly, shaking loose snow from his sleeves. “Anyone would have done the same.”
“No,” she said, blinking up at him. Air was still barely coming toher, but she could see him clearly now, his hair plastered to his forehead, his usually precise cravat beginning to get soaked through by the snow that had melted on his neck. His coat hung limply. He looked utterly undone, raw and unguarded in a way she’d never seen. “It was everything, Sebastian.”
He ducked his head, brushing her face, her arms, checking for injuries while avoiding her eyes. “We’re safe now,” he muttered. “Just breathe. You’re all right.”
Safe.
In his arms.
Her fingers twitched against his chest as she leaned up, struggling into a sitting position. He offered his arm for balance, even as she felt the tension in his body. Snow clung to him as though it had tried to pull him under too. She glanced at his trembling hands, red and raw, and it struck her like a blow. He had used every ounce of strength to shield her, an act so selfless it stole the breath she had just fought to reclaim.
