Only her. Forever.
*
Maddie shut thedoor behind her, the soft click of the latch unnaturally loud in her quiet chambers. For along, trembling moment, she just stood there, her hands pressed flat against the polished wood, as though pinning herself in place might somehow stop the world from spinning. But it did spin. Oh, it spun and swayed, and before she knew it, her knees had given out beneath her, her back sliding down the door until she sat in an ungraceful heap on the carpeted floor.
Her fingertips brushed over her lips, still tingling with the memory of his kiss, and her chest gave a faint, startled heave. Of all the things she had expected of this evening, of him, of herself, this… this was not among them.
“Oh, what a kiss,” she whispered, the words tumbling out before she could stop them. Her laughter poured out next, bright and startled, bouncing off the walls of the small room. It was ridiculous, truly. If she had known kisses were such things as this, she might have set to practicing years ago.
Her gaze caught on the handbook resting on the nightstand, the leather-bound tome her aunt had thrust upon her with no small amount of solemnity.A Young Lady’s Guide to Matrimonial Understanding and Proper Behavior. She snorted, that wild laugh threatening to erupt again. Oh, if only the author of that precious manual had felt this. Maddie doubted it very much.
“Perhaps it was written by a man,” she mused aloud, shaking her head, her voice trembling with suppressed giggles. Surely no woman, having known what Sebastian had just shown her, could write such drivel with a straight face.
Her eyes drifted closed, her head tilting back against the door as her finger, slow and reverent, traced her lower lip. The sensation was still there, scorched into her skin. Could anything put words to what she had felt? To his warmth, the way he tilted her chin as though she belonged nowhere else, the unmistakable gasp that had escaped her, unbidden, when his tongue brushed hers. Surely, there were no words, no sentences, elegant enough to contain that.
And good.
Good that there were none.
Some things weren’t meant for books. This was a moment carved out of time, stolen and too special to reduce to mere instruction or description.
I want to know more.
She pushed herself up gingerly, her legs still wobbling from the effort, and crossed the room to the washstand. The water in the basin was cool against her flushed skin, dampening her neck and the edges of her sleeves as she splashed it over her heated cheeks. It did little to chase away the rising warmth that lingered, curling low in her belly and quickening her pulse every time her thoughts wandered back to him.
Sebastian.
Her hands froze, gripping the edge of the basin, as if the name spoken only in her mind might somehow give her away. Maddie shook her head and moved toward the bed, shedding her gown with slightly fumbling fingers before slipping into her nightdress.
She slid beneath the linens and found no rest, only the kiss lingering like heat along her mouth. His touch haunted every shift of fabric.
You weren’t ready for this, she told herself—and knew she wanted more. Sensible had been easy. This, not at all.
She wanted to be seen the way he had seen her. With eyes that didn’t just look—but lingered. With hands that didn’t just hold—but knew. She wanted to be chosen. Desired. Treasured.
Her fingers curled into the sheet.
Was it too much to wish for?
Because in the heat of that kiss, she had tasted a future that terrified her with how much she wanted it. A world that belonged not to good girls and rule-followers, but to women who stepped forward. Who asked. Who took.
And perhaps—perhaps she wanted to be that sort of woman.
Not just forany man. But for Sebastian.
He had kissed her like she was worth waiting for. Like he didn’t dare ask for more, but would give her everything if she only let him. And though the kiss had ended, the invitation had not.
She could still feel it… the humming beneath her skin. Waiting.
And what would she do with that?
She didn’t know yet.
But she would know.
Soon.
She had told herself propriety was her guide, her shield, and perhaps it still was. But right now, with the memory of his kiss etched into her like her favorite song, propriety could wait until morning.
