Well, that particular moment… “Paisley interrupted.” Sebastian sighed. “Which was perhaps a mercy. But now I’m tangled in thoughts. How do I make her understand what I feel?”
Thomas raised an eyebrow. “Is it possible she already knows?”
Sebastian swallowed hard. “Perhaps. ButI fear I might ruin it by moving too fast or saying the wrong thing.” He wasn’t exactly known for his charm with women. He wasn’t known to charm at all. In fact, his interactions with them had been limited in the sense of flirtation. He’d always had other things on his mind.
Thomas stood, poured two glasses of brandy, and handed one to Sebastian. “Then move with care. But don’t hesitate. If she’s the one, she’ll welcome your touch, your words. And if you’re waiting for a sign, well—she gave you one.”
Sebastian let the warmth of the drink soothe him. “Saints help me. I think I’m falling for her.”
Thomas laughed softly. “Too late, my friend. Too late.”
Sebastian smiled. True. “Then I suppose I must be brave enough to meet her halfway.”
“Yes, well, she did a good job keeping you alive with poultices and whatnot.”
Sebastian gave a half-smile. “She was. Is. And yet… last night…”
Thomas leaned forward, his interest piqued. “Go on.”
“We were in the kitchens. Late. She couldn’t sleep. Neither could I. There was egg-flip involved. And firelight.”
Thomas raised a brow. “I can already see where this is going.”
Did he? Still, he needed to get it off his chest. “She had a bit of foam on her lip. I wiped it away. With my thumb.”
Thomas grinned. “Scandalous.”
“It was meant to be innocent. It wasn’t.”
“And what happened then?”
“She looked at me like… like I was the only man in the world. And I couldn’t breathe.”
“Let me guess. You nearly kissed her again.”
Thomas was quiet for a moment, then said, “But you didn’t.”
“Yes, and I don’t know what that would have meant.”
“It would have meant that you wanted to kiss her. Which, judging by the tortured look on your face, is no secret.”
Sebastian groaned. “That’s the problem. I do want to kiss her. But not just that. I want her. All of her. Her mind, her laughter, her maddening insistence on propriety while flouting it completely. And the way she looks at me. Like I’m worth something.”
Thomas’s gaze softened. “You are. Worth something. You’re worth a great deal, my friend.”
“I don’t know how to do this.” Sebastian stood and paced. “She deserves someone who knows how to court her. How to make her feel cherished.”
He dragged a hand through his hair. He’d never been shown how to love someone properly. His mother had wielded affection like a tool, something to be granted when he behaved, withdrawn when he failed. Love, to her, had been about appearance. Poise. Status.
He couldn’t remember the last time anyone had loved him without condition. Certainly not with softness. Certainly not with hope.
And yet, Maddie…
She’d looked at him like he could be better. Like he already was. And that terrified him. Because what if he failed her? What if she leaned in, gave him her heart, and he ruined it—because he didn’t know how to hold something so precious without breaking it?
He wasn’t practiced in courtship. He wasn’t clever with compliments or dashing with flowers. But he felt everything. Deeply. Perhaps too much. And he wanted her. All of her. Not just for a season. Not just for the thrill of a kiss. Maybe that was enough. Maybe wanting her with that much meant he was already half the man she deserved.
“And you don’t think you can?”
