“But, Frank?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I show you something first?”
Cheyenne’s husband, Kevin, and I had been down to the docks a few days earlier and spent hours on that boat. And, let me tell you, it was a dump. But that didn’t matter. We were going to tear everything out. All I needed was a simple kitchen and a big window on the dock side where people could come up and order their steamer pots for lunch. I had decided on a simple menu, no options: shrimp, sausage, vegetables, corn, and potatoes over rice cooked in my secret, special blend of spices. We’d serve from 11:30 a.m. until 2 p.m. That was perfect.
And now that I knew about the baby, I realized this was the best way to do it, because I could work a little, have my dream, but still be there for my kid. The only thing I couldn’t figure out was how I was still going to help Gray every day. And I dreaded telling her.
Frank kissed my lips and squeezed me to him a little tighter. “Babe, I’d go anywhere with you.”
I hauled my tired bones out of bed and got myself in the shower. It felt so good, that steamy water running down my skin. I looked at my tummy. I was only nine weeks now—pretty long not to know you were knocked up, but not that long in the scheme of things—and I couldn’t imagine what it was going to look like to have my tummy all protruding andfull of baby, kicking and flipping about. What a miracle, all of it.
“Hey, babe,” Frank said, turning on the sink and slathering shaving cream on his face.
“Yeah.”
“I don’t want to upset you or anything. But do you think that this…?” He trailed off.
“Do I think this what?”
“Nothing.”
I peeked my head out from around the curtain. “Well, you have to say it now.”
“Do you think that maybe this is the same baby?”
I pulled my head back in. All that hot water was running down my face, and I thought tears might be mixed in too, but it was all so warm and steamy in there that I couldn’t be sure.
I felt a cold blast of air on my behind and turned to see Frank peeking through the shower curtain. “See,” he said, “now I’ve gone and upset you. We’re supposed to be celebrating. Just forget I said anything.”
I shook my head. “No. I really think you’re right. I don’t know why stuff happens or how, but I feel like this is that same baby that we were always supposed to have, and it has some real big purpose in this world to go through all this mess to get here.”
Frank grinned at me and puckered. I leaned forward and kissed him.
“Is there room for two in there?” he asked.
I threw my dry washcloth at him and said, “Let me shower in peace, you crazy man.”
An hour later, we were walking down the dock in downtown Cape Carolina, looking at all the sailboats on the moorings in the harbor and the yachts docked beside them.
The sun was setting all orange and fire and lipstick kiss, and the wind was blowing just right. Kids were licking ice cream cones and musicians were playing on the deck of the Pier House. I leaned into Frank’s chest, him smelling of fresh aftershave and testosterone. He wrapped his arm around my bare shoulders and kissed my hair. I took in a real deep breath. I had grown up feeling like nobody wanted me, like everyone wished I were dead. But standing here, right now, I felt like I was wanted after all, like here was a man who saw past all that, who made me feel like I had a place in this world. And that was beside him.
Then we stopped at my wreck. Now that I was going to show it to Frank, I saw it through different eyes. I saw that it was falling apart and run-down and, well, belonged at the salvage yard. But it was going to give me my dream. “This is what I wanted to show you,” I said.
Frank looked around. “What?”
“This boat. Kevin’s going to help me, and I’m going to redo it and start a little lunch spot with my steamer pots.”
Frank looked shocked, but he recovered quickly. “Oh, babe, that’s awesome.” He pulled out his phone. “I’ll get Steve down here. He’s been restoring boats forever and—”
I put my hand gently on his. “Frank, this is something that I have to do on my own.”
I still didn’t know exactly how I was going to get the moneytogether. But I was going to. And I wanted that to be all on my own, not because Frank gave me a handout. I could tell he wanted to protest, but he just nodded.
“Think we ought to get going?” I asked, feeling a low rumble in my stomach that meant, if I didn’t eat soon, the nausea was coming.
Frank, he stopped and turned to me. He kissed me quickly and then, before I even knew what was happening, he got down on his knee in front of me. I was so surprised I didn’t even throw up on him.
