emerson: the seed
“We can’t just stand here in the yard,” I said. “Everyone will hear us. The entire town will know in like five minutes.”
Kyle nodded, looking dazed. He started walking next door, to the back of Mom’s house, and I followed him. He pulled the hide-a-key out of the lantern and unlocked the back door. It was kind of hot in her kitchen, since no one had been living here since she and Jack got married. Maybe it was in my head, but my ankles already felt a little swollen in all this Georgia humidity.
I sat down on one of the barstools, and Kyle sat down beside me. He turned his stool to me and then reached over and slid me around to face him. I didn’t know why it was so hot, but it totally was. That was not what I should have been thinking about in that moment that could really determine the rest of my life. But it was what I was usually thinking when Kyle was around.
“First,” he said, “are you sure? Because I can’t get my hopes all up like this and then be let down.”
I was a little offended, but I could see his point. And also really surprised. If he was getting his hopes up, did that mean he was excited?
“I am one hundred percent, totally positive,” I began cautiously. “Mark and I had made a no-sex pact before our wedding, and I have been so utterly destroyed since our night in the tree house that I haven’t even looked at anyone else.”
Kyle looked at me for a long minute, as if he couldn’t quite digest what I was saying. “Em!” he said, so loudly it startled me. “We’re having a baby!”
I was afraid he was losing his mind. “Yes,” I said slowly. “I am aware of that.”
“So why aren’t you more excited?” he asked, grinning like his face might break in two.
“I mean, I am excited. I’m just overwhelmed and trying to figure out how you’re going to react.”
He jumped off his stool so quickly it toppled over and wrapped me up and kissed me. It was exactly what I needed. “That’s how I’m feeling,” he said. “It’s the best damn news ever.”
I laughed. I was so relieved. This really could have gone a different way.
“Well, we have a lot of details to work out,” I said.
The back door opened, and the entire family trailed in, as Kyle, with his hands on my belly, which was, I might add, still perfectly flat, said, “What’s to work out?”
“Like where are you going to live?” Sloane asked.
“LA, of course,” Kyle said. He motioned with his hands like he was saying,Keep ’em coming.
“Really?” I asked. “You would move to LA?”
He walked over, put his arm around me, and kissed my head. “Em, I saw you on that set when you were filming the movie of which we do not speak. That’s your home. That’s where you belong.”
“But now with the baby...”
“The baby?” he said. “Everyone in Hollywood has like a half-dozen of them. And I am great with kids. I mean, I can change a diaper like you’ve never seen.”
“You can?” I was surprised.
He shrugged. “I’ve never actually done it, but theoretically.”
“SJP filmedSex and the Citywhile she was pregnant,” Caroline interjected.
“Yeah,” Sloane said. “Reese Witherspoon filmedCruel Intentionswhile she was pregnant.”
“Well, actually,” Mom said, “I think she got pregnant while filmingCruel Intentions.”
“OK, guys,” Kyle interjected. “We’re getting a little off topic here.”
I sighed. This was all too much. “I mean, you could move and pack up your life, and I might never really do anything good, and then we would have wasted all this time and energy.” I paused. “It’s too much pressure for one person.”
“It’s OK,” Kyle said. “Whatever it is, it’s OK. Whether you win an Oscar or film commercials for adult diapers, it’s all OK. Changing course doesn’t mean you failed. But don’t change course because you’re scared. Change course because your heart is leading you in a different direction.”
“Damn,” Caroline said. “I feel so inspired.”
