I put on the bikini and white crocheted cover-up I had left on the floor the night before and was getting ready to climb out the window when Mark said, “Meet me at the front door.”
“Don’t you have to go to work?”
He grinned. “I took the morning off. I thought we could go paddleboarding if you’re feeling up to it.”
I was feeling up to anything today. Mark and I had talked through the Jack situation, and he, as usual, was very levelheaded, which made me feel levelheaded in turn. I hadn’t even mentioned the movie, because why would I weigh him down with bad news if I didn’t have to? I really felt like I was morphing into wife material.
A few minutes later, as I floated beside Mark on the waterway, making long, smooth strokes with my paddle, he said, “I was thinking it would be really cool if we left the wedding by paddleboard. Like if that was our going-away car.”
I wanted to point out that this might be tricky considering I was going to be wearing a wedding gown. But Mark hadn’t made one single decision about this wedding, so it seemed maybe it was his turn. Besides, I could change into a white bikini, and that would be really cool and sexy and very movie-star-esque.
“What else?” I asked.
“The only other thing I really want to do is cut the top off a magnum of champagne with a sword when we cut the cake.”
I almost lost my balance, I laughed so hard.
“No, I’m serious,” Mark said.
I wasn’t a parent, but I always heard that you should fight the big fights. That sounded awful to me, but if it was Mark’s dream, then so be it.
He nosed his board onto the sandy beach at Starlite Island, and I followed suit, pulling it up on the sand so it wouldn’t float away.
I sat down, noting that I was probably the only person in the world who loved the feel of sand on her rear end. But I did. It felt like summer. And exfoliant. Two for one.
Mark sat down beside me and took my hand. “I get to dance our first dance with you right here, babe,” he said, kissing my hand.
“I’m so sorry to interrupt,” a girl’s voice said from beside me.
I smiled up at a pretty teenager with sun-bleached wavy hair and her friend who stood beside her. They both had on mismatched bikinis. I knew it was in style, but I just didn’t get it. Who wanted to look like they had gotten dressed in the dark?
“Could we please get a picture with you?” the other girl asked.
I smiled. “Sure,” I said, as Mark exhaled too loudly and too forcefully. I shot him a disapproving look.
“Thanks, girls,” I said when they had taken a group selfie and a separate photo with each of them.
Mark stood up and shoved his board out into the water the moment the girls started walking away from us.
“Wait, are you ready to go back already?”
He threw his hands up in the air. “Well, the morning’s ruined. Might as well.”
I could feel my mouth open in amazement. His morning was ruined because two sweet little girls who were probably dreaming of becoming actresses wanted to take a picture? It took maybe thirty seconds. Probably less. But I didn’t feel like getting into it with him. I wanted to rewind to the hand-kiss-on-the-beach part of the day. Was he right? Was it me? Had I ruined our day? Surely not. At least, I didn’t think so. Seeing fans was the best part of my days.
We paddled back to the house in silence, and I was caught somewhere between guilt and anger and total and complete disinterest in this situation. But regardless of Mark’s feelings about it, this was my life. It wasn’t going to change. At least, I hoped it wasn’t. I assumed it was only going to keep getting more frequent, God willing.
He held his hand up to help me onto the dock and then pulled my paddleboard up behind him. “I’m sorry,” he finally said, while he was spraying off the boards. “I just want you all to myself.”
I nodded slowly. “I get that, babe. I really do. But that’s not reality.”
“Reality is what we choose,” he said. “It’s what we make it.”
Was it? Because I was sure as hell willing his mother to go away, and that hadn’t happened yet. I didn’t say that, of course.
I didn’t want to keep feeling bad or guilty today. So I simply said, “I need to get back to the house. I need to talk to my sisters and figure out what we’re going to do about Jack.”
He nodded, and I hoped he noticed that I didn’t kiss him good-bye.
