He pulled me to him, but I pushed him away.
He bent down to look in my face. “What’s wrong with my girl?”
I shook my head. “How could you keep this from me?”
For a second, he looked genuinely mystified. Then, as if the fog was lifting, recognition crossed his face. Still, the man was cautious. “Keep what from you, Ans?”
“How could you know that my daughters knew you were their father and not tell me? How could you live with a lie like that?”
Jack shook his head, and I could tell he was trying not to laugh, which brought the anger back. “How could I live with a lie like that? Ansley, are you serious? I’m pretty sure the lie I lived with for thirty-five years, the one where I was the father of two of your children, is the issue here. Remember that one? I feel like maybe that was the big lie. That they know feels like a relief.”
I pushed past him into the living room. “So, what, you got tired of the lie and told them? Toldmychildren a secret that, quite frankly, wasn’t yours to tell?”
I sat down on the couch, and he stood up straighter. “For one, it wasn’t only your secret, Ansley. I have lived with this earthshaking other life that I couldn’t tell anyone about. Not my family, not my friends. I have lived a lifetime trying to protect you, so let’s get that straight right now.”
Jack wasn’t explosive like the rest of my family; he was calmer and steadier, better at controlling his emotions. But his darkened eyes and shaking voice were a dead giveaway that he was very upset. Despite that, he sat down beside me on the couch.
I shook my head. “So tell me. I want to know how they found out.”
He shrugged and sighed. “First of all, I think you know that I would never, ever go behind your back. I would never tell them our secret without your permission.” He paused. “I honestly don’t even know if they know for sure.”
I shook my head in confusion. “What?”
Jack took a deep breath and swallowed. “Sloane and Caroline were putting the furniture back after the painters had come. I walked in, and they were standing by my antique secretary. They didn’t say anything, but I could feel that something was off. They looked up at me with...” He trailed off. “I don’t know. Disbelief and understanding. I knew they knew. I can’t explain it, but I did.”
I felt as breathless as if I had been there in that moment. “So what did you say?” I whispered.
He reached over and took my hand. “Ans, I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. And neither could they. And then Emerson called for them to tell them she was engaged, so we never got a chance to speak.” He sighed. “That secretary, the one they were standing by, is where I keep all the pictures you sent me while they were growing up.” He paused like he was weighing his options. “And their fairy stones.”
Now I was confused. “Their fairy stones?”
Jack nodded, looking sheepish. “That day on Starlite Island, the day I came to you...”
I had rushed my little girls into the boat so quickly that they had left their stones. We had gone back to the island to look for them, but we never found them. Now I finally knew why.
Jack sighed again, and I could feel the emotion welling up in him. “After everything that happened that day, I needed a piece of them.” His voice cracked. “I knew I would never see them again, and I wanted a piece of my children.”
I wanted to keep being angry. I wanted to keep feeling my pain and humiliation, but sitting here with this raw wound of a man, it hit me what I had actually put him through all those years ago. I had gotten these beautiful girls. And he had gotten nothing. Not his children, not me. Not a single memory. While I wanted to chide him for being so careless as to keep those pictures and stones where people might easily find them, I had to realize what that had cost him.
“I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to confirm their suspicions—if they even had any—but what would the explanation be for why I had years of photos with notes from you written on the back of them?”
“Do you know if they saw the notes?” I asked, clarifying.
Jack shook his head. “I don’t know. But also, I kind of do.” He continued. “I just stood there. I couldn’t say anything. Sloane and Caroline turned to walk out the door. Sloane was gone, but then Caroline came back and whispered to me, ‘She does have your eyes.’?”
“What?” I asked.
“I know. I was confused, too. But then I opened the top drawer of the secretary, and Sloane’s baby photo was on top. You had written a note on the back that said,Thank you so much, Jack. She’s perfect. She has your eyes.”
I grimaced. That was pretty damning evidence. I had only myself to blame, really. Why would I have done that? Why did I write him those notes on the photos? How could I have been so careless? I guess at the time, I couldn’t have predicted how this would turn out. At the time, I believed with all my heart that I would be with Carter until my dying breath and that Jack would always remain a part of my memory but never a part of my life—and certainly not a part of Caroline, Sloane, and Emerson’s lives. It boggled the mind. Defied all logic and reason.
He shook his head. “I just stood there like an idiot. I was so stunned. And then Caroline gave me this look. It was just a look, and she didn’t say anything, but I knew it meantDon’t tell Mom. So I didn’t say anything to you, because I didn’t want to break their trust when this was my very first move as their father as they knew it.” He paused. “Or as theymaybeknew it. Again, I still don’t know what they really think.”
I actually laughed now, because it was clear that he didn’t have the first clue about being a parent. And how would he? He had never had a single day’s practice. Talk about on-the-job training.
“Honey,” I said, “here’s the first rule of parenting. If your kids tell you not to tell Mom something, that means you run, don’t walk, to tell Mom.”
He put his head in his hands. “I’m sorry, Ansley. This has been impossible for me. I didn’t want to lie to you, but I didn’t know what to do. I mean, how do we even navigate this? I’m their father, and I’m dating their mother. Last week, I was a test tube. Today I’m living next door. It’s so big.”
