“I just took a DNA test.”
Adele frowned. “Kiddo, you know if you want me to help you find your birth family?—”
“For Mango.”
Adele’s jaw snapped shut so hard Gage could hear the click. He cleared his throat, then ran his fingers over his jaw. “Ah. Uh…may I ask why?”
Gage rolled onto his back again and began to fidget with the label on his bottle. “So, the paternity test for Charlie came back like ninety-nine percent not his.”
Adele’s silence was heavy.
“Uh…not to get graphic, but that same night, Fallon and I kind of fooled around. And, ah…I mean. We didn’t, you know,fullysmoosh.”
“Oh my God, please tell me that’s not what kids are calling it,” Adele said, his voice kind of weak and thready.
“Dad. Please.”
“Sorry.”
“Anyway, the chances of it being me were so astronomically low that we didn’t even consider it was a possibility. But Fallon’s doctor said that it was more likely to be that than, you know, a fucked-up result from the lab.”
There was silence again, then the sound of Adele getting up from his chair. He plopped on the floor next to Gage’s head and took the Gatorade bottle from him, setting it aside. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I’m probably going to have a therapy session because if I start talking now, I’m going to be here for the rest of your shift.” He tried for a smile, but it felt like a grimace. “But before you ask, I’m not…I don’t know how I feel. I don’t want this baby to have any part of Charlie in them. But also, I will love them no matter what, so why should I care?” He felt something hot in his throat, and he turned to look at his dad. The feeling in his chest was stronger now. “WhydoI care?”
“What do you mean?”
There were words pounding against the back of his throat, desperate to be released. He’d been afraid to acknowledge them,and he was even more terrified to say them aloud. But he knew he had to say something.
“I was adopted.”
“I’m aware,” Adele said dryly.
Gage glanced over at him and rolled his eyes. “I mean…I don’t know why I want this baby to be mine so much. And it’s not just about Charlie. It’s…I don’t know. I feel ridiculous because I know it’s possible to love a child who isn’t part of you just like one who is. I don’t think you would have loved a biological kid more than me.”
“Not a fucking chance,” Adele said fiercely. “Not a chance in hell. But it makes sense.”
Gage frowned. “How?”
“I talked to people when you were young. When you were struggling. There’s a gap that I can’t fill that exists because you’re not with your bio family. It doesn’t make my love for you less important, but there’s something to be said about being able to see a part of you in the people who love you.”
“Do you feel that way about me?” Gage asked, his voice small.
Adele shook his head. “I look at my brother and see myself. I can look back at pictures of your grandparents or aunts I never speak to. Cousins.” Adele sighed. “It’s all there. You didn’t get that growing up. So it makes sense you might want it just a little bit more than normal in this case.”
That was it. Fuck, that was exactly it. His eyes got hot, and he covered them with the crook of his elbow. “Nothing will change if the test was just faulty, but God, Dad. It’s going to hurt a little if it comes back and Mango isn’t mine.”
He heard Adele shift, and then his dad’s head landed on his shoulder. “It’s probably going to hurt a lot. So it’s a good idea to prepare yourself. But it’s also okay to hope.”
“It’s fucking terrifying,” Gage murmured. “Like, I am shit scared. I don’t know what to do with these feelings.”
“Feel them. You’ve tried to run from stuff before, and it made it worse. So feel them, work on them. Lean on the people who care. Let your boyfriend love you and support you.”
It was easier said than done, but running made things so much harder. He took a deep breath. “We need to start getting baby stuff put together. Fallon’s been avoiding it, and I don’t want to push him. But it’s happening really, really soon.”
“Why don’t I get with Frankie. We can have a furniture-building party.”
Gage snorted and dropped his arm. “We don’t even have furniture.”
