Anything at all to alleviate his pain.
And he was breathing a little easier, but that was it. There wasn’t a tidal wave of emotion. He wasn’t on his knees crying. He wasn’t feeling much of anything.
“Tears.”
Gage hadn’t realized Fallon had come back into the room. He looked over to see Fallon staring, and then he felt a few more of them on his cheeks. He swiped at them as quickly as he could. “Yeah. Sorry.”
“Bad phone call?”
“I…no,” Gage admitted. It wasn’t a bad call. It was the best fucking call. A piece of him felt for the child that would probably end up in the system, but he also hadn’t wanted that to be his responsibility.
He didn’t want to deal with all that while trying to process everything that had happened to him.
Sucking in a lungful of air, he attempted to smile at Fallon, but that was when he cracked.
And then he broke.
Tipping forward over his knees, sobs burst from his chest. He tried to keep them down because he didn’t want to scare Fallon, but he couldn’t hold it back. A dam had broken, and there was nothing he could do to stop the flood.
Somewhere in between hitching breaths, he felt Fallon sit. And a few seconds later, he felt arms wrap around him. Fallon was stronger than he looked, and he managed to tug Gage against him and then shuffled them both until they were lying on the couch.
Fallon octopussed around him with arms and legs, and the pressure of it finally allowed Gage to breathe. It took him amoment to compose himself, but when he did, he opened his eyes and stared at Fallon’s eyes behind his lenses.
“How’d you know that would work?”
Fallon shrugged, still holding tight. “I know you’re not autistic, but I think a lot of people benefit from being squeezed. My brother used to roll me up like a burrito in my weighted blanket when my meltdowns were so bad he was afraid I was going to hyperventilate and pass out.”
“Wasn’t that terrifying? Being immobile like that?” It sounded like Gage’s worst nightmare.
Fallon shook his head. “I trusted my brother, but I won’t do that to you.”
Gage couldn’t help his smile. Fallon was so fucking sincere. He leaned in and rested his head against Fallon’s shoulder. “Thanks.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Gage swallowed heavily, then shook his head. “No. I don’t think so. But it really was good news.”
“A few years ago, Fen thought he had cancer. He found a lump in his crotch. His lymph node was swollen. When he got the call letting him know his scan was clear, he cried like that.”
“I wasn’t worried about cancer,” Gage said softly. “But I bet how I’m feeling right now is the same.”
Fallon hummed and pressed his nose against Gage’s temple. “Will you tell me how to play Magic: The Gathering?”
Gage blinked at him. “What?”
Fallon shrugged, then gestured at Gage’s bookcase. “I saw a bunch of card decks over there. I’ve never played.”
“Really?”
Fallon shrugged. “Yeah.” He loosened his grip, but only a little. “I’ve seen it around, but I don’t understand it.”
Gage shifted a bit so he could lean his head against the cushion and look at Fallon’s face. Fuck, he was so damn good-looking. He shoved that thought aside. He knew Fallon was only doing this to keep him calm, but asking him to talk about one of his hyperfixations was the perfect way to change the mood.
God, Gage wished things could be different between them. And hell, maybe in the future, they would be. But for now, he had this.
He leaned into Fallon a little harder and closed his eyes as he started to talk.
“Well, it starts with a deck that you can either buy or build. And each card has a meaning…”
