Gage snorted. “I will always save you from drowning.” He stripped out of his pants and socks, tossing everything near the laundry basket, then slid into the water. The garden tub was large enough for two grown men, and although the water was colder than he liked it, when Fallon dropped between his legs, it was heaven.
Closing his eyes, he let himself feel the weight of the other man as he dragged his hand up and down his chest. As he coasted fingertips over Fallon’s pecs, he could feel the scars—on the top of the skin, and a few hard bits deep under the nipples.
“Did the surgery hurt?”
Fallon snorted. “Uh, yeah. I mean, I think the recovery was easier for me than for people who have to have the bigger incisions, but the pain was pretty incredible. I was knocked out for the first few days. I had drains, and Frankie had to help me manage them because they freaked me out.”
“I’m glad you weren’t alone,” Gage said.
Fallon shrugged. “I was rarely alone growing up. Frankie could be a bit much. I didn’t like it a lot back then, but Iappreciate him more for it now.” He turned his head as Gage’s hand dipped lower—no real destination in mind. He was just enjoying being able to touch Fallon like this, knowing the man was his. “I thought about bottom surgery too. But this guy I knew had it done, and he had complications. It scared me.”
“I get that. I tend to fixate on shit like that and work myself up about stuff that hasn’t happened yet,” Gage murmured. “But if you ever change your mind, we can research and find the best doctor in the world and go there.”
Fallon huffed. “That would be so expensive.”
“We would make it work.” Gage kissed along the side of his head. “I know I probably sound like…a lot. Like, I have been told my whole life I’m a bit much, but?—”
“You’re not,” Fallon said. “You’re not too much.”
Gage swallowed heavily. “I just want you to be happy.”
“Do you want me to, you know, get that done?”
“It doesn’t matter to me,” Gage told him, “unless it matters to you. I’m into you no matter what your body is like.”
Fallon went quiet again. “Did you know right away?”
“That I was into you?”
Fallon laughed and turned his head. “Oh my God, no. The first time you saw me, I was a shaking mess in the hallway.”
“Oh, that doesn’t matter. I had an immediate crush. Not in a creepy ‘I like when guys are shaking messes’ kind of way,” Gage said quickly. “I don’t know how to explain it. God, I sound like a fucking weirdo?—”
“You’re fine,” Fallon told him. He shifted a bit more onto his side. “I meant that I was trans. Did you know?”
“Oh. No. I thought you were cis. So did Lucas. Your brother mentioned it. Is that…bad?”
Fallon smiled and shook his head. “Nah, not bad. I was never fixated on passing, you know. But…I mean, it makes me feelgood that someone walking by me on the street looks over and is like, oh, that guy is a fucking nerd.”
“Babe—”
“That wasn’t self-deprecating. I don’t care that I’m a nerd,” Fallon defended, grinning. “But I had a lot of therapy that helped me care less about what other people think. It was harder in the beginning. It’s easier now.”
“I should care a lot less too,” Gage said. The weight of how much he cared often threatened to suffocate him, but he was working through it. “I come from a big family, and they’re not like most people. And when I’m out with Lucas, he gets stared at a lot, and it used to piss me off so much. Our second biggest argument was because I kept mouthing off to people and fighting his battles for him.”
Fallon raised a brow as Gage pushed fingers into his hair. “What was your first biggest fight about?”
“Fuck,” Gage whispered. He hated talking about this. “He, uh…he was in love with me. Or, well, he thought he was in love with me. He told me how he felt, and I didn’t handle it well. I was a really shitty friend and not careful with his feelings. I regret it.”
“You never liked him?”
“No,” Gage said. “What he means to me is different, and the thought of that changing scared the absolute shit out of me. We didn’t talk for a while. I deserved the silence, and it gave me time to pull my head out of my ass and realize that I could have been way more delicate with him. I’m better about that kind of thing now.”
“You’re a good friend,” Fallon murmured. His voice was heavier. Sleepier.
“Come on, babe. Let’s get out and get dried off. I can rub your feet while you nap.”
“Mm. Best boyfriend,” Fallon said softly.
