Keeping this secret from his work was easy. Keeping it from family was hard. Keeping it from Lucas was almost impossible.
It felt like he had a ball of magma sitting in his stomach, burning him from the inside out. He had no idea what to even do with it other than swallow it down and pray no one hated him by the time the secret was out and it was all over.
“Sorry. It’s been a weird couple of weeks.” He rubbed at his face. His eye was finally healing, and it was still bruised but no longer swollen. He rolled his head over to look at Sutton, desperate to change the subject. “When are you getting married?”
Sutton grimaced. “October. It’s hell on Earth. Never get married.”
Gage shrugged. “Never say never, man. But, uh…you guys planning kids or…?”
“She wants a couple,” Sutton told him, waving his hand dismissively. “I have six little brothers, so I’m used to shitty diapers and 3:00 a.m. scream fests. I don’t want that many kids, but I wouldn’t mind one or two.”
Gage nodded. He hadn’t had siblings, and he was nearly an adult by the time his uncles all started getting married and bringing little ones around. But he loved them. He knew he wanted that for himself. But babies felt like such a big fucking decision.
And once again, he started thinking about Fallon and his impossible choice.
“Did you knock up your girlfriend?” Sutton asked.
Gage startled, then turned narrow eyes on him. “I don’t have a girlfriend, so no. And that’s kind of a shitty question to ask someone.”
Sutton held up his hands. “Well, it was your random question, m’dude. And once again, you’re being weird.”
Gage stood up and flipped him off. His temper was still on a hair trigger, and he didn’t want to burn all of his friendship bridges just as they were starting to be repaired. Slipping into his dad’s empty office, he closed the door, then dug his phone out of his pocket and pulled up his therapist’s contact.
Gage: Do you have time for an emergency session?
Evan: I just had a cancellation for today. Three o’clock work?
Gage: I’ll make it work.
His thumb swiped open his contacts, and he tapped his dad’s name, counting the rings before he picked up.
“Hey, kid. Everything good?”
“Can I get special treatment today?” Gage asked.
“Listen—”
“For therapy.”
Adele was silent for a beat. “Yeah. An hour, right?”
“Ninety minutes for drive time,” Gage told him. “I’m having a bad day.”
“Can I help?”
“Nope. But therapy can. Love you.”
“Love you too?—”
Gage hung up before Adele could ask any more questions. He’d apologize for that later, when he wasn’t so in his head. There was too much going on all at once, and he just neededsome damn guidance. And while he’d promised to keep Fallon’s secret from everyone else, he had a feeling his therapist didn’t count.
Evan was in his late forties—kind of a hot nerd dad vibe with his sweater vest, wire-framed glasses, and sculpted biceps. Gage had a twenty-minute crush on him, but it faded the more he started talking about everything he’d been through.
He understood how people could fall in love with their therapists, but something in his brain refused to let him fall for the guy who knew all the darkest and most shredded parts of himself. Which was a blessing because he had enough shit going on.
“Come on in,” Evan said, holding the door for him. He worked out of his home, in the in-law apartments that rested against his back fence. The apartment was cold, and the heater never blew strong enough, but the couch was so comfortable, sometimes Gage had a hard time not falling asleep.
“Thanks for this.”
