Gage’s eyes nearly rolled to the back of his head. “Yeah. Yeah, gorgeous. Fucking hell. Fuck, fuck. I’m so close. I’m going to come all over you, baby. I’m gonna coat your thighs and make a fucking mess out of you.”
Fallon’s words died in the back of his throat as a new kind of pleasure washed over him. He was hot, tingling, full of a want he’d never experienced before. He never wanted this to stop. Not ever.
The room filled with the sounds of skin slapping skin, and as Fallon lost himself in the rhythm, he felt Gage’s cock thicken, and then he shuddered, grunted hard, and buried his face in Fallon’s neck as he came. His arms tightened around Fallon sohard he lost his breath for a second, and then Gage let go and collapsed into his chest.
Fallon was rarely the big spoon—the man who gave comfort. He was short and small, and people tended to assume that meant he couldn’t be that partner.
Except Gage curled into him and allowed himself to be held, and Fallon realized if he wasn’t careful, he would get addicted to this. He would want things he had no business wanting right now.
After a short forever, Gage’s breathing began to deepen, and he pulled back, cupping Fallon’s cheek. “That was amazing.”
“Mm.”
“I hope it wasn’t bad for you.”
Fallon shook his head. Logically, he knew he should be careful with what he said. Giving people too much power had never gone well for him. But in spite of his experience, and in spite of his logic, he trusted Gage.
“That was the best I’ve ever felt. No one…” He stopped, his voice a little thick. He was a little too worked up, and his emotions were all right at the surface.
“Hey,” Gage murmured, holding him a little tighter. “We don’t have to talk about this. Trust me when I say understand that sex is complicated.”
Fallon shook his head back and forth, rubbing his nose along the top of Gage’s head. He smelled so good. “Being gay and trans is hard. The guys who do want to sleep with me tend to see me as…you know…not a man. And then they either try too hard or not enough. Or they ignore it and get off as fast as they can, which makes me feel used.”
Gage let out a shaking breath. “I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t.”
“No. You were the first one who made me feel…like myself.” Fallon licked his lips, then turned his gaze toward the door. Heneeded to leave soon. If this kept up any longer, he was going to trip and fall into something he wasn’t ready for.
No matter how much he wanted it. He needed to wait.
And as much as he was afraid waiting too long would give Gage the chance to meet someone else and find his happiness without Fallon, it was for the best.
“This meant a lot to me,” Gage said after a long while.
Fallon sighed against Gage’s thick black hair, then said, “Would you think I was a monster if I asked you to take me home right now?”
Gage popped up and looked him in the eye. “So long as it’s not because you wanted to hit it and quit it?—”
“Oh my God.”
Gage grinned widely at him, his eyes crinkled in the corners. “What?”
“You’re a nerd.” Fallon touched his jaw. “I like that about you.”
“Come on,” Gage said, rolling off him. He held both hands out, and Fallon took them. “You can use my shower if you want, and then I can drive you. I have to work at the ass crack of dawn anyway, so it’s probably better this way.”
Fallon could hear tension in his voice, and he knew then that Gage was scared this really did mean nothing. But he couldn’t tell him the truth. Gage was vulnerable too. Whatever happened to him tonight, Fallon knew it was big, and he also knew all people tended to run from big feelings. Even if they pretended they weren’t doing exactly that.
But he would go forward with hope that even if he lost this, he wouldn’t lose Gage as a friend.
The drive back to Fallon’s was quiet. It was a temporary apartment not too far from Frankie’s, which he appreciated. It was new, and all the smells were still strange, but it was also a place he hadn’t shared with Charlie, which made it a lot easier to sleep at night.
Gage pulled up to the curb, and Fallon was grateful he didn’t try to get out and walk him up to the door because Fallon knew he’d lose his battle with self-control and invite him in. Instead, Gage leaned over the console and took Fallon by the chin.
“Can I have a kiss good night?”
“Yes.”
The kiss was soft and easy. Undemanding. A sort of goodbye that wasn’t as painful as it could have been.
