“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, hit with the trembles again as that brief moment of calm that had settled inside me evaporated completely, all thanks to my own dang stupidity, getting sucked in by the fantasy that there was actually someone out there to keep me safe.
I waited for Daddy to say something, but he didn’t. Just tipped my chin up so Ihadto look at him. And… oh.
Right.
I swallowed, my stomach suddenly twisting into an icy knot because he’d already done that a few times before, he’d made itclearthat he didn’t like it when I looked away from him, so I really should have known better. It wasn’t even a good excuse that Max had been the opposite, punishing me at random for meeting his eyes often enough that I’d mostly stopped doing it, because I was with Daddy now. I should have paid better attention and learnedhisways.
I twisted my hands together, intending to apologize again, but instead, I accidentally blurted, “Please let me stay. I can… I can do better. I promise.”
“Better?” Daddy’s lips twitched, and he raised one eyebrow. “I don’t think so.”
I froze. It shouldn’t have been a surprise, I guess, but hearing him justsayit like that, I suddenly couldn’t… I couldn’tbreathe.
Why was I sostupid? It wasn’t my place to ask to stay. That was up to Daddy. I was here forhim; I was hisparty favor. Besides, I knew better. Before I’d even met Max, I’d learned that nothing good ever came from asking for things.
My mom had put up with me for seventeen years, but instead of appreciating everything she did for me the way she’d always told me to, I’d gotten too whiny and… andpushy. And eventually, when I’d asked for too much, she’d gotten sick of it.
But I didn’t like to think about that too much, because before Max had taken me in, I’d been so dang scared on my own. That first night, well… I certainly hadn’t expected anythingspecialon my birthday, but I also hadn’t expected that I’d end up too scared to sleep at all and nowhere to do it anyway.
Actually, that was a lie. Ihadexpected something special on that birthday, I guess. Or, hoped for it, at least. I’d been dumb enough to think that waiting to talk to momonmy birthday would mean she’d be nicer, or at least listen, or just… just something. All I’d wanted was for her to keep the men she brought home away from me, or at least to warn me so I could try not to be there when they stayed the night, but that hadn’t been my place. Like she’d reminded me, it was her apartment that she paid good money for, and I’d just been a freeloader.
I’d even tried to explain about the way some of her men had started trying todostuff with me, stuff I didn’t really know much about back then since it had all happened before Max, but that had made her even more mad. And then, before I’d known what had hit me, I’d been out on the streets.
Like I was about to be again right now, probably.
“Sorry,” I said, blinking fast because Daddy still wouldn’t let me look away, but I really…
Well, I just really didn’t want to let on how dumb I’d been, expecting something different from him for no good reason atall, just because the way he’d treated me had made this feel like, like something it wasn’t.
Daddy started to smile, those gorgeous dark eyes of his just barely crinkling at the corners, and no… no no no nono. I wasnotgoing to cry.
His smile vanished, his eyebrows squinching together a little in the middle instead. “You can’t possibly do any better,” he reminded me all over again, even though, even when he’d been mad about me messing up before, I hadn’t thought he wascruel.
Except… except this time, his voice was sort of gentle and soft, almost like he was… teasing?
I didn’t understand.
Then hedidsmile, and… andwinked, and it was such a shock when I’d been waiting for him to either punish me for asking for too much, or finally tell me to get out, that I gasped for air, almost choking myself, which I hadn’t even known you coulddoon just air.
Daddy’s gaze instantly softened even more, and he let go of my chin and cupped my face again, with both hands this time. “You can’t do better, sweetheart, because you’re already perfect.”
I… was?
I mean, no, of course I wasn’t.
Obviously, I wasn’t.
But if he’d just give me a chance, I would try to be. I’d try with everything I had.
“And yes, you’re staying,” Daddy added firmly before I could tell him so, the corners of his mouth tipping up again in a smile that was barely there this time, but that somehow still felt like… like it fixedeverything. “You’re staying if that’s whatyoustill want, Jack.”
“Yes,” I said quickly, my stomach exploding in those flutters again and the words all coming out in a rush, in case he changedhis mind. “I mean, thank you. I mean,please. Daddy. I… I want to. I do. Please let me stay. I’ll be so good for you. Ipromise.”
Daddy’s eyes burned into me, then he leaned down and… andkissedme.
Just once.
Too fast.
