I didn’t want to lie to him, but Daryl—back when we’d been chatting online and I hadn’t realized how mean and frightening he actually was—had said all a boy had to worry about in the bedroom was pleasing his Daddy, so it wouldn’t really be a lie if I just skipped the part about me and focused on Edward. Iwantedto focus on Edward. In fact, if the only thing I had to worry about was pleasing him, especially if he’d tell me exactly how to do that, then I already knew for sure that this weekend would turn into the best one of my life.
Actually, it already was, just for having met him.
I’d still have to leave him on Monday when I went back to just being me, on my own, responsible for everything for me and Mom both with no one else to step in the way Edward did, but yes, okay. This was a good plan. I just needed to remind him that it didn’t matter about me, so we could enjoy these few days that he actually wanted to be my Daddy.
“Rene?” he said, because I was taking too long and breathing too hard and on the verge of ruining everything. “Baby, can you tell me—”
“No, sorry, it’s okay,” I cut him off quickly, wrapping my arms around myself when I started to shake and wishing it was his arms instead. “There’s nothing to tell. I meant to say green. Can you, can you please kiss me now? Or I mean, I can shower first. You wanted me to shower, and you’re in charge. I’ll go do that right now so you can make your business call, and then we can—”
“Baby, stop,” he interrupted, making me want to cry. Because I just knew, if I hadn’t been dumb enough to say “yellow” and make him back off so completely, that he would have already pulled me back into his arms by now.
Healwaysdid when I needed him to, and I did.
But this time, he didn’t.
“Please tell me why you wanted to slow down,” he said instead, still watching me carefully. “Did I say or do something that made you uncomfortable?”
I shook my head, hugging myself even tighter.
He swallowed. “Did I… did I come on too strong, sweetheart? I know we just met—”
“No,” I blurted, wishing I had Teddy in my arms. No, wishing I was inDaddy’sarms. Well, both. I could use both. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “Please. Can we just, I’ll do anything,youcan do anything, please, Daddy—”
“Rene,” he said, so sharply that my mouth snapped shut all on its own and my stomach shot straight up into my throat and tried to choke me.
Oh God. He was done with me.
“Come here.”
Relief flooded through me, so hard and fast I almost couldn’t take it. Then I launched myself at him, so dang grateful he’d told me to do that instead of telling me to get out that I almost felt dizzy with it.
“I’m sorry,” I gasped as he caught me, burying my face in his collarbone and holding on as tight as I could. “Green, okay? Green, Daddy. Please, I’m green. I want to be yours. Please. Everything is green. Please make me yours now.”
“Youaremine,” he said, his arms finally around me again, holding me so tight I couldn’t doubt it. “That isn’t in question, beautiful boy. But you don’t lie to me. That’s not how this works. If I don’t understand, I can’t take care of you properly. And Rene—” He pulled me away from his body, just far enough so he could make me look him in the eyes, “—nothing is as important to me as taking care of you, do you understand that?”
I started to nod, because yes was the only thing I wouldeverwant to say to this man, but… no. I didn’t understand, actually, and he’d just told me not to lie to him.
Cautiously, I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I don’t. I don’t understand why you’re doing so much for me. Why you’re so nice. Why you want to, to do all this with me.”
Edward smiled, brushing my hair back from my face and making the tight coil of fear inside me—fear that I really had messed this up, that I’d lose my chance to have these few days with him, that I’druinedthings—slowly begin to unwind.
“Once upon a time,” he started, making my eyes go wide.
Was he going to tell me a story?
I wasn’t even very good at being a Little… but maybe that didn’t matter as much as I’d feared, since Edward was so good at being a Daddy.
“—Once upon a time, I met a beautiful boy who took my breath away,” he said. “I didn’t understand why I was so drawn to him, but I didn’t have to. From the moment I first laid eyes on him, I couldn’t look away. Something inside me just knew he was meant to be mine. That I could only really be happy if I did everything in my power to makehimhappy. That the most important thing in my life, from that day forward, would be taking care of him. At least, if he’d let me. If he wanted that, too.”
“And he did,” I said, my lips curving up and a happy sigh slipping out from between them.
Hearing it again made my own worries fade into the background for a moment, because itwasthe best story. Just like I’d told Edward the first time, it was like a gay fairy tale with the most perfect happily ever—
Well, the most perfect happily-for-many-years ending.
I wasstillsorry Edward had lost his Blair—I wanted this weekend with him more than anything, but I wasn’t so selfish that I didn’t wish things could have been different for him, for his sake—but it also made my heart feel full to know that, once, at least he’d had all that happiness, too.
But now Edward was looking at me funny, his lips tilted up at the corners and a look in his eyes I didn’t know how to interpret.
