Except maybe I’d misheard her?
Jules kissed me all the time… on the cheek. AndDivakissed me all the time, also on the cheek, but only because she thought it was hilarious to make me wear big lipstick marks I didn’t realize were there. But she, he, whatever--Julesnever wanted tokissme. Not for real.
So, okay. I’d misheard.
“Since the Daddies are only here for the weekend, I did a little legwork before the show,” she was saying, still running her glittering nail back and forth along my lips. “Pretending we’re boyfriends was really the perfect thing, too, because as long as the right Daddy thinks we’re in an open relationship and just looking to have some fun, I can still be there to look out for you.”
I blinked. Jules was seriously the only person I knew who could explain something and leave me with even more questions than I’d had before. He was also the only person who could say things like that, that made no sense, and make my pecker ache just because of the way his voice rolled over me.
But… wait. Was heserious? How had we gone from joking around a couple of days ago about me needing a Daddy to take care of me, to… whatever it was Diva had just said? I’d barely wrapped my head around the thought of being Jules’ fake boyfriend for a few days—even if it was just to get a free room and, honestly, the hotel staff probably didn’t even care—but now we were taking this sudden, fake relationship one step further by opening it up to other people?
Toa Daddy?
I couldn’t. I didn’t even know where to begin. I wasn’t even entirely sure what a Daddywas, other than kinky and just as far out of my league as Jules was.
What I did know was that there was no way anyone in their right mind would believe that someone as forgettable as me would ever have a chance with someone like Jules. If we hadn’t bonded as kids, there was nowayhe would have even noticed me as an adult… or that I’d be sitting here with someone as fabulous as Diva practically in my lap, giving me her undivided attention and talking aboutkissingme.
“What, um, what does all of that have to do with kissing you?” I asked, my overloaded brain finally circling back around to the first, most problematic part of Jules’ crazy plan. Because of course I’d thought about kissing Jules before… and bythought, I meant dreamt, fantasized, and taken myself in hand about it.
Like, a lot.
Since… forever.
“It has everything to do with it,” Diva said, winking at me. “I told you, the Daddy I picked out for you thinks we’re a couple.”
Jules wanted to kiss me. That was all I heard. No, Diva had saidIshould kissher. And sure, I’d kissed people before.
Well, a few times.
Okay, I’dbeenkissed. I’d never been the kiss-instigator. And I’d never been very good at it, as far as I could tell.
In all my fantasies, Jules had kissedme… those super-secret fantasies and dreams that weren’t ever, under any circumstances, supposed to cross over to real life. And wouldn’t, because it wasn’t even possible that Jules would want to kiss me. And even if hedid, kissing Jules would be a very, very bad idea. A horrible one. The worst idea in the history of ideas. And not just because he was my everything and it would mean more to me than it ever could to him, but because even though, yes, we’d been joking the other day about how it would be fun—and maybe sort of hot—if I had a big, sturdy Daddy to take care of me and keep me from having to deal with all of the tedious day-to-day stuff that always seemed to paralyze me with anxiety and fear, I didn’t see howJuleskissing me—well, Diva kissing me, if he meant right now—was supposed to help make that happen.
“I don’t understand,” I said, feeling like a trembling rabbit caught in a snare as Diva continued to pet my face.
“He’s here,” Diva said, using the tone she always reverted to when she was pretending to be someone with patience. “So we need to act like a couple. We need tosellthis, babycakes. Make him want you.”
My heart sank. Jules had his heart set on this, and I hated to disappoint him—ever—but no one wanted me. Not likethat. Besides, going to some strange man’s room and doing God-only-knew-what with him for the night sounded… nerve-wracking.
Hot in theory, but terrifying if Jules really expected me to go through with it. And once the Daddy found out I didn’t know what I was doing? That I was a virgin with no experience who’d come out missing whatever gene made most gay men seem to instinctively know how to be sexy with each other? Once the Daddy decided it was too much trouble to bother with me when there were dozens of other “boys” available for the weekend? That Jules had all the sparkle and shine in this particular fake relationship, and I wasn’t even good arm candy, much less bedroom candy.
Um, was “bedroom candy” a thing?
I licked my lips, tasting a hint of Diva’s sweat mixed with cherries, and really, really wished I had a piece of candy.
Or a hole to sink into.
Or a backbone.
“I can’t do it,” I blurted, scooting my chair backward as he moved in like he meant it, like he was really about to kiss me. “I know we were talking about finding me a Daddy and all of that stuff,” I babbled, “but I thought we were mostly joking? Besides, I don’t think I could ever do something like that on my own. Me, alone with some strange guy?” I giggled nervously, my palms sweating and my heart thumping and--oh God oh God oh God--my pecker lifting the material of my trousers as Diva grabbed me and held me in place, a take-no-prisoners look in her eyes that I had no chance against. I swallowed, whispering, “You know me better than that. I can’t, um, he won’t, I…Jules.”
Cardinal sin. He was Diva right now. But I justcouldn’t.
And yes, I was rambling, but I knew I only had about point-five seconds to make my case before Diva planted her glittering lips on mine, and I was starting to get desperate. Both because I was terrified of what might happen if she actually followed through with her crazy plan for me, and because… the kiss.
I wanted it.
Ishouldn’t, but I did.
