I may or may not have had a bit of an internal swoon over that particular memory, even though it had been thirteen years ago, but can you blame me? It had been the very first day of first grade and I’d been so excited to go to school—realschool, because kindergarten didn’t count, and at that point I hadn’t realized yet that sitting in a classroom for six hours a day for the next twelve years was going to make me want to gouge my eyes out with pins—but then that horrible Trevor Wilkins, who lived next door to me and had been picking on me since birth, had ruined everything by tripping me on my way out to recess. He’d ripped my jeans. He’d made me cry. He’d laughed at me. But then, suddenly, Gage had been there, swooping in like some kind of six-year-old superhero, and everything in my life had been better, every day since.
“No, not that day,” Gage said. “Thenextday, Noe. Remember?”
I crinkled my brow, trying to… oh. “You were late.”
“Yep,” he said in a flat voice that made me want to gouge someoneelse’seyeballs out. Specifically, Gage’s stupid parents, because now Ididremember.
They’d forgotten him, he’d told me later. Both had gone off to work and assumed the other would take care of getting him to school that day. It hadn’t been the only time they’d forgotten him, either.
“And when I got to class, everyone was already sitting in circle time,” Gage went on. “And at first, no one noticed I’d even walked in… a lot like at home.”
He laughed like it was a joke, but have I mentioned wanting to gouge out eyeballs? I mean, yes, my parents could be a bit much, but at least I knew for sure they loved me. Gage’s, on the other hand, were… not worthy of the title.
“Inoticed,” I reminded him, my heart hurting just like it had a billion times before when his parents had failed at basic parenting, or failed to realize how amazing he was—or, I swear to God, failed even to remember heexisted, sometimes—and he’d pretended it didn’t matter.
Right now, though, Gage grinned. “That’s right, baby. You did notice. Mrs. Spaulding finally looked up and saw me. She pointed toward the back of the circle, like she wanted me to sit down quietly without interrupting anything, and thenyoulooked up and those dimples of yours popped out because you got the biggest fucking smile on your face, and—”
“And I stood up and told everyone that my best friend had finally arrived, and then I pushed Suvi Littleton over to make room for you to sit next to me.”
I grinned, and Gage grinned right back. “That Suvi chick was pissed.”
I snickered. She really had been. Honestly, I’d totally forgotten about that day, but now that he’d brought it up, I could remember it clearly.
After circle time, Suvi Littleton had dumped her milk on me at lunch and Gage had pouredhismilk over her sandwich in retaliation, then he’d dragged me into the bathroom and washed my hair out in the sink and helped me dry it under the hand dryers. He’d even given me the shirt he’d been wearing under his hoodie, since mine had been soaked with milk, and then I’d…
I cocked my head to the side, squinting as I tried to remember it all. “I gave you a piece of gum, right? After you gave me your shirt?”
“That’s right,” he said. “Big Red.”
“YouloveBig Red.” I grinned. Six-year-old me had beenonit.
“Yep,” he winked. “But you see why I need you, Noe? No one had ever been that happy to see me before.”
That made me both happy and sad to hear, but he was definitely right about me. I really had been happy to see him. And not just that day. I was happy to see himeveryday.
School had ended up kind of sucking, or I guess the thing was that I’d ended up sucking at school, but despite that, I’d still always loved going, because… because Gage was there. He’d been the best part of every single one of my days ever since that very first one, and he’d never told me I was too excitable or too bouncy or too clumsy or too much. He’d never gotten tired of me or needed a break or rolled his eyes when I freaked out and talked too fast or forgot to breathe. Ever since the beginning, he’d let me shower him with all the enthusiasm and adoration and energy that always seemed to wear everyone else out, and he’d never once pushed me away. Instead, he always pulled mecloser. He… hebaskedin it.
Had he needed it?
Neededme?
Wait, Gage actuallydidneed me?
He cleared his throat. “No one else even noticed I’d come in the room that day, but you did, Noe. You always did. You alwaysdo. And that day, that second day of school, you… uh, you called me your best friend even though we didn’t really know each other yet. You claimed me, Noe, right there in front of everyone.”
And then Gage… blushed?
I blinked. Holy shit. Gage didn’tblush. Not ever. But now… he was?
The sight gave me flutters, and they must have thrown off my balance, because when I leaned in to get a closer look, just to see if I was imagining all that adorable pink on his cheeks or not, I sort of… slipped. And landed on his mouth. I mean, mymouthlanded on… on his… mouth…
And all of a sudden, I was kissing him.
Licking him.
Tasting his lips the way I’d always dreamed of doing.
And for one single fraction of a second he froze, but then choirs of angels started singing, because all of a sudden he was kissing me back. He was tangling his hands in my hair and pulling me down on top of him andinhalingme, his mouth tasting like cinnamon and heat and perfection.
