“Fine, she is. And she’s waiting on me.”
“Oh, is she the one who’s been hiding Tea?”
“That’s right, and I’ve got to go accessorize before Andy wakes up.”
She snickered. “So basically, I caught you sneaking into your little sister’s bedroom before the sun rises where you plan on playing with your boyfriend’s new pussy, you kinky fuck.”
“You are a sick woman,” I said, grinning because she wasn’t wrong.
Tea was Andy’s Christmas present—a.k.a. the world’s fluffiest kitten—and it had taken a stupid amount of coordination to try and keep her a surprise. The whole family had helped, and ever since Andy and I had arrived a few days ago, Liz had been hiding Tea in her bedroom.
“You do realize that getting Andy a kitten for Christmas is, like, actually a gift for yourself, right?” Nichol said.
“What? It’s totally not,” I said, because hello, she was wrong. “You know Ellen loves me best, so she’s basically mine now. Tea will be Andy’s cat.”
“And you’re going to quit fussing over her once you hand her over? Stop putting those bedazzled collars on her and take down her IG account?”
I rolled my eyes. “Well, obviously not. Katie and Liz are going to miss her when she comes home with us, so I’ve got to leave the IG up so the girls can see her. Andy can run it, though.”
“Mmhmm.That’ll happen.”
Okay, probably not. He didn’t do much with social media, but I mean, I wouldn’t mind helping him keephiscat’s Instagram going. Bu seriously, what was Nic trying to say?
“Dude, I got him other gifts, too. You seriously don’t think he’ll like Tea?”
She laughed. “Boo, That’s not what I said. Of course he’s going to adore her, and do you know why?”
“Uh, because she’s adorbs?” I said, lowering my voice to a whisper as I snuck past Mom and William’s door.
“No, because he adoresyou, bitch,” Nichol said. “Ergo, he’ll love anything that you do, and you know she makes you look like a heart-eye emoji.”
I rolled my eyes. “Those are just snapchat filters.”
“Those aren’t the pics I’m talking about. Have youseenwhat you post?”
“Shut up,” I said, since she was right. Time to change the subject. “Who the fudge says ‘ergo,’ anyway? You need to get back to California before you forget how to speak English.”
“I’m literally in England.”
“Exactly.”
I heard a noise in the background of her call, then—
“Hey, I’ve got to go, but be sure to send me pics of your man opening his first gift.”
I smirked. “Too late, and no way was I going to send you those pics anyway.”
She laughed. “Aw, you gave him something before Tea? Let me guess, a bleached Brazilian starfish.”
“I’m flipping you off right now,” I said, hovering outside Liz’s door until I ended the call. “And I don’t bleach my ass, bitch.”
“Yes, you do.”
Yes, I did
“Whatever. Go be merry with your husband. I’ve got to get Tea dressed to impress.”
We ended the call and I tapped on Liz’s door, stifling a yawn. It wasdefinitelytoo damn early… but it was Christmas, so it was worth it.
