…
…
…what?
My heart fuckingstopped, then got jumpstarted into overdrive with a surge of adrenaline that almost made me puke. No way was Sean leaving me. And he sure as fuck wasn’t going withher. But then she made a smug little sound of triumph from behind me and Sean slipped around me before I could do anything about it, putting himself exactly where I didn’t want him—within arm’s reach of her again—and for the first time in years, since way the fuck back before my mom had finally stood up to my sorry excuse for a father and kicked him to the curb, I felt one hundred percent helpless.
Oh, fuck.
I was going to lose him.
13
Sean
I was so scaredI was shaking, but I couldn’t stand the thought of losing Tyson just to try and make Mother happy. She was never happy with me anyway, no matter how hard I tried, and even though a big part of me had wanted to say yes and just let Tyson deal with it, another part of me—one I hadn’t even known was there—wanted to tell her to leave myself.
Maybe I’dalwayswanted to tell her myself.
I couldn’t do it without Tyson at my back, though. It was almost as scary to let myself believe I could count on him the way all the nice things he always said seemed to imply as it was to face down my mother, but Ididbelieve in Tyson.
He was the opposite of everything I’d ever known before. Before, no matter what I did, I could always count on it being wrong, but with Tyson, no matter what I did, he kept telling me it was... that it was not just right, butperfect. And even though I’d never expected him to even notice me, much less want anything more from me than he had from the other boys he used to always bring around, everything he did, every single day, made it seem like maybe I’d been wrong about that.
That last part was what made me feel brave. Words didn’t always mean what it sounded like they did, like the way my parents always used to say they loved me and were doing things for my own good, but then… then ended up doing things that hurt me instead. Tyson, on the other hand, had never said he loved me—and of course I would never be greedy enough to expect that from him—but he said so many other nice things, all the time, and thendidthings that made me feel… well, like what I imagine it must feel like tobeloved.
So even if it was scary, how could Inotbelieve in him?
I swayed backward, just a little, just enough to bump into the solid bulk of him behind me and reassure myself that he was really there.
“Mother—” I started to say, then had to stop and swallow hard when my stomach tried to launch itself out of my throat from nerves.
“Sean,” she said before I could get another word out anyway, giving me a tight smile followed by a disapproving look as she took in my appearance with a single, scathing glance. She didn’t mention that I’d obviously just rolled out of bed even though it was already past eight o’clock in the morning, though, or the fact that I was dressed in someone else’s clothes. She just launched right into ordering me around like she always did. “I can’t say I appreciate the delay, but I suppose it’s something to see that at least you still know what’s good for you. Now get some shoes on and come along. You don’t want to keep your father waiting.”
Tyson’s whole body tensed behind me, and I could see his hands twitch out of my peripheral vision, like he wanted to grab me.
I wished he would, but he didn’t, and I could still do this. Iwantedto do this.
“You’re right, Mother,” I said even though I still felt like I was about to throw up. “I… Idoknow what’s good for me.”
“Sean,” Tyson growled quietly behind me, crowding even closer but still not reaching for me.
“Tyson’swhat’s good for me,” I said, my voice only quavering a little bit.
“Jesus, baby,” he muttered on an explosive breath, finally grabbing onto me like I’d hoped he would. His big hands wrapped around my waist and yanked me back even more firmly against him, and even though my heart still felt like it was trying to beat its way out of my chest, my stomach calmed right down now that he was holding me again.
I took a deep breath, bracing myself to go on.
“I’ve got you,” Tyson murmured, which made me so grateful I almost cried.
“I… I don’t care about leaving Father waiting,” I said to Mother defiantly even though I knew it was disrespectful and that she didn’t put up with defiance. But… but that didn’t matter now. I lifted my chin, holding her gaze. “Neither of you should have come all the way out here because I’m not… I’m not... leaving.”
Mother’s face had been steadily turning redder and meaner while I talked, making my throat tighten up so much that by the last bit I could barely get the words out at all, but Tyson squeezed me even tighter, so I knew that no matter how mad she got, it would still be okay.
And oh God, she wasdefinitelymad.
“Sean Geoffrey Cabot,” she hissed, her voice lashing out like a whip the way it always did when I was in real trouble. “That is unacceptable. I don’t know what kind of depraved things you’ve gotten up to here—” her eyes flicked down to where Tyson had his arms around me, “—but it’s clear that you can’t be trusted so far away from home. Now quit acting out anddo as you’re told.”
She was shouting by the end, the cords standing out in her neck, and if Tyson hadn’t been holding onto me, I would have been really scared.
