So why did it feel so wrong for us to be leaving?
Arze’s name ran a monster truck through my mind, crushing the weak metal of my psyche. Of course, a lot of the reason I didn’t want to depart from Phoebe was because of him. Taking him out of it, I’d thrived creatively here for the first time since we’d originally left Virginia last year. Not only that, but Myers had found someone she cared for, just like I had. Leaving felt more than wrong, it felt cruel.
Byll, the eamesr we’d befriended, leaned in to give me a hug that I quickly reciprocated. “We’re gonna miss you, pal. Feels like we didn’t get to spend nearly enough time together!”
His southern drawl never failed to make me smile. “I know.” The nod that followed was mimicked by him, glad that my gesture was enough of a response for the Orb.
Darlene and Gerald were next, unwinding from Myers just offset from where I stood next to Byll and Colette. Their bright faces and even wider smiles came into view as we each exchanged embraces.
“It feels like you guys just got here.” Gerald said, nodding to prove his point.
His wife cleared her throat, stepping up next to him as his face reddened with emotion. Aw, fuck, if Gerald started crying, I didn’t know how the hell I was going to respond.
“Sorry, dear.” Darlene mustered. “It’s just that you two seem to fit in so well here in our little Phoebe.”
God, I didn’t need the reminder. Because that was the truth Myers and I were fighting against so hard. Itdidfeel like we belonged in Phoebe. But our lives were back in Virginia. So were our parents, and though they were few and far between, we had friends back home. We couldn’t just up and leave simply because we’d connected to a place so much.
Could we?
I mumbled something agreeable with Darlene’s response, but my breath caught as I saw my co-workers approaching, being lead by Khalice and her family, since they knew the park more than the others. Our RV bonfire crew said their last goodbyes, making room for everyone else to say theirs. Myers was wormed up in Larsky’s embrace, who had been off to the side while we’d been saying goodbye. I could see my sister on the brink of crying as she was wrapped in the arms of the stellymn that adored her so.
Fuck, this was way harder than I ever could have expected when we’d first rolled into town.
Breaking through the crowd first was Betz, Khalice’s daughter. She bolted through the others and wrapped her arms around my waist, only reaching just past my hips. My heart lurched that she’d grown so attached to me with so little interaction. Khalice had told me that Betz had taken a liking to me. As I wrapped my arms around her, I felt her back heave as sobs spilled out of her. Oh god, I couldn’t take this.
“Betz, darling.” Khalice said, standing next to her daughter, bending down and getting on her level. “It’s going to be okay.”
She smoothed a red hand down her daughter’s braided navy hair. I gave Betz a smile that I had to fight to keep straight so that it didn’t wobble with emotion.
“I’m so glad I was able to meet you, Betz.”
“Me too, Krueger.” The young stellymn nodded, unfurling herself from my waist and legs. “I’ll miss you.”
How much more was this going to have to hurt?
“I’ll miss you too.” I assured her, letting my hand out to catch the tear sliding down her face. She gave me a smile at that, but it was wiped clean from her features pretty quickly as she stepped aside and let her brother and father tell me that it was nice meeting me and for me to have safe travels.
Khalice clearly didn’t want to have an emotional goodbye, keeping it simple by saying it was wonderful working with me and that I was a welcomed human in her life. I spent the next few minutes saying my less emotional goodbyes to Chase, Abigail, and Jane, who had come to send us off with the others. Ripp was still his usual energetic self, telling me that I was awesome and that he wished we could have hung out more. I made sure to reassure each one of them that they’d touched my life, and that I felt better for knowing them.
But they all paled to the impact that Arze had installed in me. He was the last one to say goodbye, and when he stepped forward, I thought I was going to lose my grip on every emotion that was threatening to come bursting out of me.
We’d known each other such a short amount of time, but the time we’d shared contained some of the happiest, sexiest, and most surprising moments of my entire life. This was the worst part about leaving today. Leavinghim.
My arms crashed around his frame, wrapping him in my embrace as he did the same. I knew that the chances of us being able to kiss out in the open like this were slim to none, but we’d had our fill last night. I knew what I meant to Arze, and he in return knew how torn up I was about not being so close to him anymore. Last night before we’d left the festival, I’d been a drunken mess, full of tears as I told him how much I’d miss him. He’d taken it like a champ, soothing me and repeating my words back to me.
After a beat of clutching one another, Arze retracted himself, staring into my green eyes with his orange ones. I found peace in his pupils, and not having that easy peace accessible anymore was really going to shake my core when Phoebe was nothing more than an image in our review mirror.
“Krueger,” My name in his mouth ignited my skin, wishing that we could be as affectionate as we were behind closed doors. “There’s so much that I wish I could say to you.” I watched him turn his neck, listening for tythwig. When he stared back into my eyes and shook his head, silently telling me it wasn’t safe, I nodded.
“I know, Arze. Me too.” In truth, it was probably for the best that we couldn’t speak freely. If we could, I’d be a heap of emotions, unable to keep them at bay like I was fighting so hard to keep them up currently.
We stared at each other, letting our eyes speak the words we couldn’t quite voice. Every interaction we’d shared in the past few weeks ran through my brain, as if I was watching them on playback in his irises. Seeing him that first night here in the RV park before I’d been about to hook up with Lincoln. Being surprised when I got the job at the haunts on Jane’s land and it turned out he worked there too. The instant chemistry that passed between us, so much off the charts feelings that I’d thought I’d been going crazy. And the night we’d had rough sex in Spore Sector, the night that had changed everything.
Everything in between ran a mile through my memory, making it harder and harder to keep my emotions from spilling over the brim. In some ways, it felt like I hadn’t come alive until we’d stepped foot in North Carolina. I loved living in Virginia, don’t get me wrong. But Phoebe felt like a new home I hadn’t known I’d been missing out on. Leaving a place like that…it was going to be the second hardest part about leaving Phoebe behind. And the first was the utterly gorgeous Orb that had taken my affections captive and refused to free them. I never wanted to be free of him, but I couldn’t stay.
What if you did?The question had been bubbling underneath every heartbeat since I’d been falling more and more under Arze’s spell of captivation. Or the more time I spent in town, for that matter. I hadn’t just been falling for a person while I’d been here, I’d been falling for the entire town too.
“We’ll find a way?” Arze’s pleas brought me back to reality, his hands daring to inch closer to my neck from where they resided on my shoulders. It was as close as we were getting and all I wanted was to be able to kiss him one last time before we had to hop in the truck.
