Turning on his heels, Arze left me dumbfounded as he retreated, disappearing into the night and leaving me on the sidewalk with more questions than answers.
One thing to come of the conversation made my heart soar in triumph. He’d said ‘it doesn’t matter what I feel for you’.Feel. Present tense. The joy that that gave me couldn’t be accurately measured. I hadn’t imagined or fabricated anything that hadtranspired between us. He’d felt for me the same way I’d felt for him when we’d been dancing at Batwings.
The second thing he’d said, the last word, was puzzling me now and simmering my joy to a dull hum.Forbidden. He’d said that what he felt for me was forbidden. Why the fuck was him having any sort of feelings for me, either platonic or romantic, be forbidden?
I had no idea as I stared into the emptiness of where he’d once stood, the humming of the overhead street lamps telling me it was time to return to my sister, but one thing was for fucking sure: no matter what it took, I was going to find out.
Chapter 15
It wastorture waiting to go back to work. As badly as I wanted to talk to Arze about what the fuck he meant about his feelings for me being forbidden, I resisted the urge to storm over to Jane's and remained at the RV park on my second day off. One great thing about running in angst was it was absolutely the best ammunition for writing.
On my second day off of work, I was an absolute writingfiend. I was getting really close to an end point to my horror romance novel and I really had Arze and his really confusing displays of affection to thank. I'd written so much that Myers kept asking to read something, but I'd refused until the entire thing was at least done. She'd already been asking about why I'd come back to the restaurant flustered as fuck, but I told her I'd tell her later, much to her chagrin. I needed to reconcile what happened myself before I was able to tell her. For now, my writing would get the brunt of the encounter.
Who knew how many drafts I would concoct after that, but I wanted to have the book done before anyone's eyes but mine devoured the words. At least my main character was sexually thriving with his demon boyfriend. It would have been so easy to walk away from my crush on Arze. It was probably the rightthing to do. The day of us leaving Phoebe kept creeping closer and closer, and it was stupid of me to hyperfixate on one guy during my time here. I knew that, wholeheartedly. That didn't stop my brain from craving his touch. From wanting to feel the pressing of his lips against mine. From contemplating how delicious he looked with all of his clothes off...
That line of thinking birthed an entire new chapter Wednesday night all on its own.
By the time Thursday afternoon arrived, I was feeling anxious to head back to work. I knew I'd see Arze, but I had no sense of security that I would be able to talk to him. He'd had the distraction of me being off while he kept working, since our days off weren't synced at all, while I'd been floundering over my laptop and pretending that my novel's plot was our love story. Or at the very least, our lust story.
Luck or torment was on my side, as I learned coming into work that day that I was being paired with Ripp and Arze in the haunted maze to learn the cues and inner workings of the second haunt I'd yet to master.
Surprisingly, Arze was attentive in showing me what I needed to do for the maze. He and Ripp worked in tandem to describe how the maze worked differently opposed to the haunted house. We each roamed the maze, being assigned a different section of the maze and we were instructed to jump out and scare guests that wandered into our section, whether it was an outright jump scare or following them without their knowledge to spook them at the most opportune time. It was a little easier than working the house, in my opinion, because you didn't have to travel to different areas within the maze like you did in the house. But I was excited to experience a new aspect of work.
After learning that tonight, while I assimilated to the newness, I would be shadowing one of them and we'd splitthe maze's terrain into two equal halves to cover, Ripp asked whether I wanted to be paired with him or Arze. My heart leapt at the chance to be alone with Arze, to try and get some answers from him, but he killed that opportunity swiftly. He wasted no time as soon as Ripp had finished proposing the question, telling both of us that he would take the southern half of the maze alone while I shadowed Ripp. There was no suggestion, no discussion. Arze declared his intentions and then disappeared into the constructed shrubbery of the maze, leaving the pair of us at the entrance.
“Well, I guess that settles that then.” Ripp said playfully, not quite at his usual bounding personality levels for the day. He was a bit more serious than usual, which I could have only assumed was because now he had to teach me the ways of the maze.
I kept silent as I followed Ripp through our section of the maze, nodding occasionally as he pointed out the different points to jump out at guests, the best methods he thought would work with my Freddy costume, and things of that nature. By some miracle, I was able to bury my burning thoughts of Arze as his adamance at being separated from me. I was mildly annoyed by it, but I needed to focus on work and what Ripp could tell me about the maze. So I absorbed those details as much as possible and kept my wanton desire at bay.
We had about fifteen minutes before the haunts officially started, and Ripp had run through the places to jump out and everything several times over. We were sitting on a hedge that I was surprised could hold both our weight, overlooking the maze and the entire path that sprawled out. I could see Arze pacing from the far side of his section of the maze, his stare refusing to turn in our direction.
I just wished I could ask him what was up. Like, just explain everything to me and I'll leave you the fuck alone if that's what you really want. I didn't want to chase someone who wouldn'tchase me back. So if Arze truly wasn't interested, then I was fine with cutting ties.
It doesnt matter what I feel for you.Those were his words, not mine. Frustration blanched throughout my veins, bubbling irritation and red hot anger through my system. I closed my eyes and sighed, trying my best to let it go.
“You okay?” Ripp said, that too serious look back on his face that was becoming a little unnerving. He was eternally supposed to be a happy, energetic puppy of an Orb and it was really unsettling to see him be anything different. He seemed happy, truly happy. Maybe I was just jealous of his frivolous euphoria. “You seem upset.”
“I’m fine.” The lie sizzled my throat as it rolled by my teeth. Disbelief wafted from Ripp's expression, but thankfully he didn't press me about it. I didn't want to give him the chance to steer the conversation toward me, so I decided to add, "Did you have a good time the other night at Batwings?"
It was like someone switched on all the lights in Ripp's head as his features twisted from their stoic and serious setting to ones of unbridled joy and contentment. His lips disappeared as he tried to contain his excitement and lighter, nodding emphatically. “It was fun! I like being around people.” A momentary shadow draped over his face, that seriousness returning for a quick second. “Even if the way I look scares most of them.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he looked giddy again. Like the Ripp I always hoped I would see. I hated that he felt that way, but I was glad he wasn't dwelling on it either. “I wished you and Arze would have stayed longer! Khalice did karaoke!”
I smiled, because I would have loved to see that. I had left the bar shortly after Arze had run from me outside, returning to my co-workers long enough to tell them that I was headed out. ButI'd heard from the others that they had stayed at the bar for more than an hour after I'd left.
“I had a great time while I was there.” I finally said in response.
The more serious Ripp turned to face me. “What happened between you and Arze for you to leave?” My eyes bulged, a smirk making a comfortable nest in Ripp's face. He always exuded such puppy dog energy, but clearly people were underestimating the multitudes he contained.
There was no use in my trying to hide the truth, not when he was so close to it and knowing that something had went down. An anvil left my chest as I sighed, deciding to load the gun of my words and empty the chamber with my truth.
Ripp certainly wasn’t the one I’d thought would be the receiver of this conversation. If anything, I would have expected to talk it out with Khalice, if anyone. But he was asking and I was desperate for a different perspective.
“When we were dancing at the bar,” I began, looking out over the maze until I could see Arze over in his section, still pacing. Somehow the fact that he was anxious even when he was alone made me think he might be more receptive to talking things out than I would have previously thought. “Arze and I were talking and...I thought he was going to kiss me.” Ripp let out a choked scoff, cut off by the surprise of my admission. I kept going, thinking that I wouldn't have the guts to rid myself of what happened if I didn't speak it into existence right then and there. “So I leaned in to kiss him back, but he freaked out and ran out of the bar.” I paused, wincing inwardly from the recollection. “Then, I ran into him at a restaurant and I had to find out more about what was going on, so I followed him out into the street.”
“And...what happened when you followed him out in the street?” The cautious way Ripp was speaking made me unsureof how he felt about what I'd admitted, keeping me on an edge I clearly couldn't shake.
“I told him that I was into him. And he cut me off and said it didn't matter what he felt for me because it was forbidden.” Repeating that dreaded word made my mouth hurt, like it was sore from having to echo it. I shook my head, tearing my eyes away from Arze's position and staring into the vibrant neon green irises that stood out amongst the vast black void in Ripp's eyes. “And then he ran off without any sort of explanation.”
Ripp's demeanor prevailed, serious but even, keeping me in a weird state of uneasiness. “That makes sense.”
