It was such an endearing moment for the two of us that I just gave him a grin as he ate more of his food. We’d been friends for a long time, but it was true. My dating life had never really been up for discussion. Not for lack of interest on Thayer’s part, but for lack of concern to share on mine.
“Thanks, Thayer. That means a lot.”
“Now tell me about this boy.”
I fell into an easy laughter with Thayer, feeling lighter than I had since the incident with Kroven. There wasn't a boy on my radar. Hell, there wasn't even a man, not a human one anyway. But instead, my thoughts were churning out heavy doses of a sangamar that made me feel things I hadn't experienced before. I only hoped that I'd be able to discover why our last interaction had shifted south.
Chapter 5
Three weeks.That's how long I'd been in my head about Kroven's last appointment with me and he hadn't returned to the center since. If I didn't think I'd done something to upset him before, I sure as shit did now. I knew he needed the blood to live, so clearly, he'd started going to another blood center. Did I really upset Kroven that much? Had I truly upset him to the point that he could no longer handle seeing my face at the center and instead of asking for a different handler, he'd completely relocated his appointments elsewhere?
It was making me feel like shit, despite still thinking that our last encounter had been fairly amicable. It had even been a little flirty, or so I thought. Now I was second guessing everything. Making matters worse, I cared. I cared that he'd gone somewhere else. I couldn't talk to anyone about it either. Thayer didn't even know I was having indecent thoughts about an Orb, let alone getting hung up on the fact that one had skipped out on wanting to work with me at the center. There was no way I could bring this up to him. Part of me didn't want to even if I could.
Thayer knew something had happened because I'd been veryquiet and to myself in the weeks that passed. He’d poked and prodded about what was bothering me repeatedly when we’d share dinner at the apartment, to limited explanations and outright denials. I didn't know what to say. I only knew that I needed to get the fuck over myself. Kroven had decided that I was too much to handle and that was fine. Itshould'vebeen fine, anyway, and I needed to really work on letting go of it.
I was so desperate to be better and to move past the weird situation, that I somehow let Thayer convince me to go out to the nightclub down the street from the blood center that Friday night, just like he’d wanted around the time I’d started working in the Orb wing. It was a lavish "everyone's welcome" type of club, which meant Orbs were welcome to mingle with humans if they liked. I was surprised when Thayer said he had the night off in order for both of us to go out together to enjoy everything that Gossamer had to offer.
Which is how I ended up in an electric yellow mesh t-shirt and my tightest pair of jeans, staring up at a pink and blue neon sign that told us the club was indeed named Gossamer. Once the bouncer checked our IDs and let us through the doors, I was having immediate regrets.
“Thayer, maybe this is a bad idea.” I pulled on the hold he held on my arm but he kept a firm grip and proceeded in dragging me down the hallway that we walked down before we would enter the main hub of the dance floor. The hallway was draped in dark velvet and the carpet was laid to match. Neon lights hummed above us and on the walls, various colors bouncing off our skin in a pleasant cadence while thethumpthumpof dance music was muffled by the large door at the end of the hallway.
Thayer spun around, still holding onto me as he made a smirk appear on his face.
“This isn't a bad idea. You've been in a slump lately. And maybe you don't want to tell me what's it about and you don'thave to. Get drunk. Dance with a stranger. Or just vibe with me all night and forget about whatever the hell it is and have some fun.”
The eagerness in his voice struck me wholeheartedly. Thayer really hadn't come to Gossamer to meet someone for himself or to get plastered. He did this forme. He really cared about me in a way that no one ever had and the thought brought tears to my eyes. I made sure to usher them back to their respective homes in my tear ducts and gave Thayer a nod.
“Alright, let's go.”
Thayer nodded and reached for the door. When he opened it, a wave of music crashed against us and I let Thayer lead me by the hand into the sea of people that took up the dance floor. There were two bars where people could order drinks, one in the back and one immediately to the right past the door we came through. A small stage was to the left, inset so that it didn't take up any room away from the open dance floor. Lights of every color decorated the ceiling in various shapes and sizes, beaming down on the already crowded herd of dancers. I noticed that it was a decent mix of humans and Orbs. I'd never experienced anything like seeing the coming together of ‘beings from the other realm’ and humans like this. It was a beautiful thing to witness and if I let myself think about it too much, I knew tears would tango from my eyelids.
By the time I ordered my third tequila sunrise, I was already done for. I was a lightweight when it came to alcohol long before this and I couldn't even remember the last time I'd drank, so it hit me really hard. But it felt so nice to not feel visibly stressed. To not think about anything but what was presently and physically in front of me.
I'd decided not to actively pursue someone to dance with, or anything else beyond that. I was just dancing with Thayer and occasionally someone would dance really close to one of us and want some attention, which we gave with flippant smiles andexuberant openness. Some of the guys that came up to me were quite attractive and I could've really seen myself getting more involved with several of them. Every time I thought about grinding up against them more obviously, my mind drifted back to Kroven.
Why? Why thehellcould I not get this guy, this Orb, off my mind? Nothing had even happened between us, not really, and it was maddening that my body and mind seemed to tell me otherwise. Even if Kroven did think of me as more than just his handler at the center, we couldn't have any sort of relationship together. I was a human and he was a sangamar. An other realm being. If a miracle transpired and we both had a mutual attraction to each other, it would never be accepted from the rest of society. Humans and Orbs didn't mix. Sure, people knew that Orbs existed. People thought Orbs deserved the same rights we did, save a few outlying groups. For the most part, Orbs were treated just as well as humans. Being in an interspecies relationship? It wasunheardof.
Thayer walked, or rather stumbled with focus, over to me with another tequila sunrise that I took with gratitude. I couldn't remember if this was my fifth or sixth now and I didn't care. I was feelingreallygood and I didn't want that feeling to leave me anytime soon. I was dancing with Thayer and a really cute guy that seemed intent on going home with both of us when I spotted a flash of blond hair by the second bar in the corner. My heart sank and I stopped dancing like it was second nature.
It was Kroven.
He threw his head back as he rolled with laughter with a mixed group of humans and other Orbs of varying species. I didn't really have the focus to take in the other Orbs. All I could see was Kroven. And I was just the perfect level of drunk off my ass to accost Kroven without fearing the pulse of anxiety that would normally stop me from doing so.
Thayer stopped dancing as he noticed my immobilization, the guy that was vying for our attention rolling his eyes and leaving us alone.
“What's wrong?”
“Nothing,” I slurred. “I’ll be right back.”
I left the dancing area before Thayer could argue with me or beg to come with me so I stayed safe. Honestly, I probablyshouldhave had Thayer by my side. I was surrounded by unknown humans and unknown Orbs in a place I'd never been before. There was a very detailed lists of bad things that could happen to me but the alcohol was fueling my bravery and I was determined to use it all on Kroven before it ran out.
Making my way through the various groups of people, I wormed a path straight for him in the corner by the bar. A wave of hilarity hit the group of people by him, a smile gliding along his face until I was standing directly in front of him and his face soured in a plummeting downfall.
“Bas?” Kroven elevated his voice so that I could hear it over the music and people. “What are you doing here?”
“Trying to have a good time.” I didn't sound the most eloquent but I soldiered on. “I really need to talk to you. Can we go somewhere quieter?”
He shook his head. “I don't think that's a good idea.”
