31
River
There is no plan.Even after three days, Cleo and I have nothing. Grey has me over a barrel and she knows it. A part of me thinks I should forget I ever saw Benson’s pale arse anywhere near Grey. Why should I get myself involved when I don’t need to? If I keep my mouth shut, no one gets hurt, right?
My inner voice scoffs at me because I’m coming up with excuses. Benson, regardless of his bigotry, is breaking the rules. He’s taking advantage of Grey even if she is consenting. He is a higher rank than her and therefore holds the power. No matter what Grey thinks, he is in the wrong. Another thought occurs to me as I’m mulling the whole shitshow over in my head. What if this isn’t the first time he’s slept with a lower-ranking crew member? I have no proof, but Benson loves power. I think he gets off onholding it over people, and lord knows I can see him loving the idea of having a lower rank literally beneath him.
Cleo and I have kept our distance for the past seventy-two hours, and I am glad of it because I can do what I need to do without her trying to talk me out of it.
The reason we don’t have a plan is because there are only two options. Option one, I comply with Grey and Benson’s threat, which makes me complicit in their shit, and the thought makes me want to gag. Option two, I come clean to the captain about everything. I’m sure I’ll end up being disciplined. I can’t imagine it would go much further than a reprimand because Cleo is a civilian, although she is under the care of the Royal Navy and the captain could quite possibly want to make an example out of me.
Okay, so I could get more than a reprimand, and I hate the thought, but I can’t in good conscience keep Benson’s behaviour to myself. If we were still taking part in training, I wouldn’t rush the decision. But we are no longer on assignment, and Cleo lacks the time for a thorough investigation into Benson, so my only choice is to rely on the captain’s impartiality to make the right decision. I’ll tell her my truth and see what happens.
The worst part of all this is the time I could be spending with Cleo, even in an official capacity, isnon-existent. We decided it was best to create a bit of space as to not give Grey any more ammunition.
My shift ends, and although I want to go and shower, I need to speak to the captain before I lose the nerve. Cleo, Kit, Boot, and Cheddar are going to be pissed, but I’ll make sure the captain knows none of it is their fault. Hell, I was the one to pursue Cleo in the first place, so the responsibility lands squarely on my shoulders.
The captain’s office door has never felt so intimidating before. I’d only ever had to visit one time before, and it was fleeting. I get the feeling I’m going to be in there a while this time around.
Knocking, I wait for my invitation to enter. Captain Morley is behind her desk looking over some charts, reading glasses balanced on the end of her nose.
“Good morning, ma’am.” My voice wobbles enough for the captain to notice. She pushes her glasses into her hair and sits back in her office chair.
“Dawson, what can I do for you?”
I’m lucky I was able to see her without running into her secretary. It’s like the universe is telling me I’m doing the right thing.
“May I sit?”
She cocks her head and assesses me. I’m treading a thin line by asking before being offered to sit down, but in all honesty I’m worried my legs are going to give out. She nods and I sink into the chair.
“Out with it,” she says, and I appreciate her forthrightness. I launch into the whole saga, starting with how I met Cleo before she joined the ship. Sparing no detail—except for the sex part, I divulge everything. What have I got to lose? If I’ve got a cat in hell’s chance of her believing me over a senior crew member, I can’t afford to be anything but transparent.
My leg bounces up and down as I wait for the captain to say something. It’s been an awkward few minutes. That’s right, I said minutes…several of them. My ears have locked on the constant buzzing in the room, and it’s slowly driving me insane.
Is she disappointed? Angry? Does she think I’m a complete idiot for sleeping with the admiral’s daughter? Does she think I’m a coward for not reporting Benson sooner?
The silence stretches on, and I feel like I’m drowning in it.
When Captain Morley finally slams her hand down and curses, I go rigid, waiting for her to lower the axe on my career.
“Christ almighty, Dawson.”
Yeah, that’s fair.
“Of all the people to become intimate with, you chose the daughter of the fucking admiral!”
It’s not a question, but a stupefied statement.
“Yes, ma’am.”
She flares her nostrils and taps her finger on the desk. “I do, however, appreciate the courage it took to come forward, even though you’ve been remiss in your decision making lately.”
Again…fair.
“Trust that I heard you and will be looking into the information you have given me,” she finishes.
Well, that’s something. I can’t really ask her for more.
