“And yet I have. Now, spill the tea.”
“I’m going on a second date with her.”
“The first date went well then? I only ask because you haven’t fulfilled your end of the best friend agreement and already filled me in on your exciting news.”
Chuckling, I put the phone on speaker. “As I said before, I can’t just call you all the time. I have a job, you know.”
“Cleo, you could have literally sent me a text and it would’ve sufficed!”
“I…”
“Alright, alright. Back to the issue at hand.”
“I really like her, Honor. I told myself I’d be sensible, but—”
“Your heart didn’t get the memo, huh?”
“Something like that. We had another talk, and River was just so lovely. I think she really is in this, like I’m starting to believe it might not end in catastrophe.”
“Okay, so why the freak-out?”
“Because now I’m thinking about the future!” I all but shout in frustration. “What happens after we returnto Portsmouth? We live totally different lives, Honor. How could it possibly work?”
“I’m guessing like the other thousands of relationships between a sailor and their other half.”
“Yeah, but they knew what they were getting into.”
Honor snorts. “And you didn’t? Cleo, you were always going to end up with a sailor and you know it. You may have tried to ditch any connection you have with the Navy, but it will always be there. Honestly, honey, I think you need to get a few things straight in your head if you want this relationship to work with River. The woman doesn’t stand a chance with your head stuck in the past.”
“What do you mean?”
“Your dad was an arsehole to you and your mum. He chose his career, but that doesn’t mean every person who joins the military is the same. Your ex was a cheating piece of shit, but that doesn’t mean every woman is the same. Until you come at this relationship with a clean slate, you’re always going to be creating issues for yourself. Has River done anything so far to make you question her promise or motivations?”
“No,” I say quietly, feeling chastised.
“Then that is all you need to be thinking about right now. Plus, and I say this with love, Cleo. You’re not perfect. No one is, so stop expecting perfection from other people.”
“Hey now, that’s a little unfair.”
“Is it? So far all you’ve done is worry about River’s less than favourable qualities. And I get it because you were hurt. But she’s showing you who she really is and yet you’re still trying to sabotage her and your relationship. You’re so used to digging up lies and uncovering all the bad things, I think you’ve forgotten how to be happy when something good happens to you. You don’t need to go digging this time, Cleo.”
I open and close my mouth a few times, imitating a fish, because I don’t know what to say.
“If things with River are good, and you both feel your relationship is worth sticking with, then you’ll talk about the future. That time isn’t now, and it’s not on you to decide for her. You’ll do it together! So stop questioning and start enjoying.”
Blowing out a raspberry, I nod to myself. Honor is right again. God, I should start paying her to be my life coach or something.
“I think I owe you several bottles of wine when I get home,” I joke.
“Yes, you do,” she replies easily. “Are you okay now?”
“Yes. Thank you…again.”
“Good. Any other gossip? I’m rather bored.”
“No more hunky gym buddy?”
“No, he started to get clingy.”
