“You know what I mean.”
“I do, I’m just messing with you. But on a serious note, aren’t you worried? I mean, what if this little experiment of yours only reinforces that you prefer to hit ’em and quit ’em? What if Cleo develops real feelings for you?”
“What if I develop real feelings for her? Ever think of that?”
Placing a hand on my shoulder, Cheddar softens her look, which makes my skin itch. I don’t want her feeling sorry for me.
“I didn’t mean to offend you, River. Look, I’m just surprised, but you’re right. This could be something good. Just…be careful, yeah?”
“I will. You can’t tell anyone, though, okay. Not even Cleo.” I wince. “I sort of told her I wouldn’t let anyone else in on our agreement.”
Cheddar’s face says it all. I’m an idiot. I know I’m an idiot. But I needed to talk to someone, and Cheddar’s the only person I trust with this. Cleo will understand. Probably. Maybe. Fuck, I hope she doesn’t find out.
“For fuck’s sake,” Cheddar mutters to herself. “Fine, my gob is sealed.”
Grinning, I pull her towards me and kiss her forehead. “You’re the best.”
“Ew, get off me.” She swipes a hand across the place I gave her a wet smackeroo and then wipes it on my sweatpants. “So, what’s the big plan for a date? Hate to break it to you, Riv, but His Majesty hasn’t suddenly started incorporating five-star scran in the dining hall.”
Cheddar is right. It’s not like I could take Cleo for a meal, even if the galley did serve luxury food. Not without being interrupted, anyhow.
“I reckon if I called in some favours, I could get something decent cooked for us. We could eat in here.”
“And what about everyone who’ll want to chill in the mess?”
“Call in more favours, I guess. I just need it clear for a couple of hours. It’s not like we’re going to be getting hot and heavy on the couch.”
“Yeah, about that. I mean, are you really okay with the no sex policy?”
“Cheddar, we go away for months on end, and I don’t have sex. This is no different.”
She scoffs at me and shakes her head. “You’re delusional if you believe that, mate. You’re going to be getting to know her on a personal level. There will be flirting because you can’t help yourself. At times she’ll flirt back. Maybe she’ll even give you a snog or two. You’re telling me you can just walk away from the possibility of taking it further, no questions asked?”
“Firstly,” I say with a degree of indignation, “I’m not an arsehole, Cheddar. I’ve never pressured or got the arse ifa woman has said no to sex and I won’t start now. Consent is everything.”
I’ve seen too many blokes think they’re owed something just because a woman smiled at them or agreed to a drink. That’s not how it works. If someone says no, you respect it. End of. I don’t care how much I want Cleo—if she’s not ready, we’re not doing it.
She rolls her eyes. “I didn’t mean it like that—”
“Certainly sounded like it. I don’t want to sleep with anyone if they aren’t one hundred percent into it.”
“Okay, okay. Sorry. But the fact still remains that you‘re gonna be horny as hell and have the woman you’re craving a few cabins away.”
Cheddar isn’t totally wrong. Cleo pushes all my buttons, and I would love nothing more than to sleep with her again. But I told her I wouldn’t play games, and I’m going to keep to that. I want to know what it means to have sex with someone you care for.
“Sex is on her terms, and I’m happy with that. Look, I know all this is weird and out of character for me.” Cheddar nods. “But I want to try, okay?”
“Alright. Well, I guess I wish you good luck.”
I grin at her, and she narrows her eyes. “I need a little more than good luck from you, Cheds.”
“Fuck, I knew I’d end up getting caught up in it,” she grumbles, causing me to laugh. Cheddar is my ride or die. I know it and she knows it.
“I just need you to keep everyone out of the mess. I’ll get to as many people as possible so they know to stay away, but—”
“Ah fucking hell, River. You’re talking about Grey, aren’t you?”
I’m absolutely talking about Grey. Out of all of my crewmates, she’s the last person I want within a hundred feet of my date with Cleo.
