I’m not getting out of this. “It was just a one-night stand.” That turned into a two-month close-contact situation. Oh, and I’m now dating her.
“More. Give me more, Cleo. I know you’re hiding something.”
I relent and tell her the whole story. From my night with River to the interview I just conducted, and everything in between.
Honor interrupts three times—once to say “You didn’t!”, once to laugh so hard she snorts, and once to demand I repeat the part about River saying she couldn’t breathe properly when I’m around.
When I finish, Honor is silent. I think I’ve rendered her speechless.
“Bloody hell, Cleo.”
“Yeah.” I sigh. “It’s a mistake, right? Trying this whole dating thing.”
“I mean, it’s unconventional, I guess. Are you sure you’re going to get as much out of it as her?”
“Not one bit. I just can’t explain it, H. My brain knows I should be running in the opposite direction. She’s a player. She’s never lied about that.”
“But she wants to try something different with you?”
“That’s what she says.”
“Can you trust what she says?”
Trust. That’s the word, isn’t it? The thing I crave in a partner. Once trust is broken, I think it’s nearly impossible to get back. My ex proved that. She’d sworn she wasn’t sleeping with anyone else. Looked me in the eye and lied.And I’d believed her, right up until I’d walked in on her with someone else.
Maybe that’s just me. I’ve had one too many important people break my trust to give an impartial opinion.
As far as I know, River hasn’t lied to me. She’s honest about who she is, and she certainly had the ovaries to open herself up a little and tell me how she was feeling. That was her trusting me, so I should give her the benefit of the doubt. Do I sound really judgey on my high horse?
I sometimes feel it. It’s not like I’m perfect. I have a shit ton of baggage with my dad. River might take a close look and decide I’m not worth it.
“You still there, honey?”
“Sorry, sorry. I’m here. Although I should warn you I won’t be in range for mobile signal soon. We’ll have to communicate via WhatsApp. I get thirty minutes of satellite time once a week, so I’ll send you the details you’ll need to sign in to a secure network.”
“No problem. But back to the issue at hand.”
“You know me, H. I’m sceptical and find it hard to trust. Especially sailors.”
“But?”
“I think River is genuine. There’s a connection between us.”
Honor hums. “And you’ve vetoed sex?”
“Not entirely. I just took it off the table for now. It was the only way I could semi-guarantee she wasn’t just trying to get in my pants to prove she’s a—”
“Fantastic fuck?”
I chuckle. “Crude, but correct.”
“Thing is, Cleo, you’ll be in close quarters for weeks. It’s going to be like dating on steroids. What’s your usual sex vs. dating rule?”
“You mean how many dates do I want before hopping into bed?”
“Exactly.”
“I don’t have a rule. I go on how I feel, I guess. It’s been so long since I dated anyone, though, Honor. One-night stands have been enough.”
