“Your mama feels real sorry about the way she has treated you,” Bernie answered. “You need to give her a little consideration. You don’t have to forgive her all at one time, but remember, honey, you can eat an elephant a bite at a time. So just take a small bite today, and maybe another one on down the road. She’s made the effort to drive all the way from Fritch, so you should hear her out and ignore Vernie Sue.”
“I will listen to her because you asked me to, but it won’t be easy.” She headed back into the living room, pulling a ladder-back kitchen chair behind her. She stopped right beside Bernie’s recliner and sat down. “I’m listening to whatever you have to say, Mama, as long as Nana doesn’t butt in. But I have a question before you start, and I want an honest answer. What did I ever do to any of you for the whole family to make me feel like I wasn’t good enough to even be a servant in it?”
“It’s a long story, and one that I hoped I would never have to tell you, but I will be honest.” Marsha blushed. “I’ll do the best I can to keep it short. It’s something I’ve never told anyone, not even your grandmother.”
Bernie sat down in her recliner and popped the footrest up. “I thought you two shared everything—peas-in-a-pod type of thing.”
“I was afraid she would throw me to the curb, and I was right because a few years later, she practically disowned Mary Jane for getting a divorce,” Marsha admitted.
“You and Daddy almost got a divorce?” Clara gasped.
“That’s right,” Marsha said. “But when I married your father, I was determined to make it work, even after he retaliated for something that he thought happened by having an affair.”
Clara felt like her mind was on a roller coaster that was about to spin out of control. “He did what?”
Vernie Sue clutched her chest like she was about to have a heart attack. “I don’t believe you.”
“Oh, stop being so damn dramatic,” Bernie scolded.
Marsha rolled her eyes and went on. “We had Luke and then Myra, and we were definitely through having children. Myra was five and Luke was eight. We were both busy with our careers and having to depend on your grandmother too often to help us out with the children. Your father had a vasectomy, and a couple of weeks later, I went on a job that kept me away from home for twomonths. I came home pregnant. He accused me of sleeping with one of my coworkers and didn’t think that you were his child, so…” She paused, and tears filled her eyes. “He had an affair with an old high-school girlfriend.”
“Sweet Jesus!” Vernie Sue gasped. “Did you?”
“No, Mama, I did not,” Marsha snapped, “but for you to ask that question hurts me. Toby thought I did, so he didn’t believe me until Clara was born and we had a DNA test done.” She looked across the room at Clara. “That’s when he went back to the doctor, which was something he was supposed to do not long after the surgery but canceled the appointment. He found out that he was still fertile. Because of his issues, the whole time I was pregnant, he didn’t ever bond with you like he did the other two kids, and I was working so much, and…” she shrugged. “That’s not an excuse and is barely a reason, but there it is. We didn’t want another child, and we didn’t do right by you. I’m truly sorry for all of it, but most of all for letting your grandmother warp my mind about Bernie, then about me and your aunt. I hope that in time you can forgive me.”
“I did not do that,” Vernie Sue declared. “I could see that Clara was the outcast, and I tried to steer her in the right direction.”
Bernie chose that moment to speak up. “You should have just given her to me from the beginning. I would have loved raising a little girl, and I would have let her go in whatever direction she wanted.”
This was absolutely too much for Clara to take in. It made sense, but it was a bittersweet story. She was the unwanted child, and the very one who had almost split up her parents. “I need to process this, but I thank you for being honest with me, Mama.”
“That’s fair enough,” Marsha said. “I hope it’s not too late for us to build a relationship. I promise to be more open-minded about your life choices.”
“Well!” Vernie Sue huffed and glared at Marsha. “I’m not so sure it’s fair to me. Why didn’t you tell me all this when it was going on?”
“Mother, think back to those days. Mary Jane was already having marital problems and you were against her divorcing Martin. I was in the same boat, and you were helping with Clara while I was gone with my job. I had another five years before I could retire, and I was trying to work things out in my marriage. What would you have done?” Marsha asked. “You had practically disowned your own sister for embarrassing you. You don’t even have to answer because we both know that you would have done the same with me that you vowed to do with Mary Jane if she got a divorce, kept writing trashy books, and moved into an old brothel. I wanted you to still love me as much as you always did my brother.”
Vernie Sue turned and stared at the wall.
Clara expected her grandmother to spew out words like she did when Clara was a little girl and made Nana Vernie Sue angry. She could almost hear them even yet.Girl, you are acting just like Bernie, who has disgraced the whole family. If you don’t straighten up, I am not going to keep you anymore for your mother. She should have never let her college professor talk her into applying for a job with the government. Her place is being home and raising a family like I did.
Her chest felt like an elephant was lying on it, and her heart hurt for her mother. She had been through so much, and all she wanted was for her own mama to love her. Clara knew that feeling well.
“I’m sorry you had to go through all this, Mama, but most of all I feel your pain in thinking you had to be good for Nana Vernie Sue. It’s a heavy burden. Why did you…”
Marsha held up her right palm and swiped at tears rolling down her cheeks with the other hand. “It took years for your father and me to get past our issues, and I tried to be there for you. I can see now that I made the wrong choices and hope that someday you can forgive me. I can’t go back and undo what’s happened, but going forward, I will do my best to be the mother I should have been all along.”
Bernie chose that moment to reach across the distance separating her from Clara and lay her hand on her great-niece’s arm. “Sometimes we are given a set of circumstances that we don’t choose, but in the end, they lead us to a wonderful life.”
Clara thought about the amazing time she had hadwith Nash, not only that day but ever since she first walked into the bar with him. Were all the events that had led her down the path to Ratliff City worth the reward at the end of the journey?
“Yes,” she whispered, not only to Bernie’s question, but to the one in her own mind.
Vernie Sue finally turned back to face her daughter. Black tears streamed down her wrinkled face, and her chin quivered. “I’m sorry, Marsha, and Bernie, I have not been a good sister or Christian woman. Are we too old to make a clean start? Will you ever be able to forgive me?”
“Like I told Clara in the kitchen, you can eat an elephant a bite at a time. I can forgive, but I’ll have to work on the forgetting part. Are you going to throw me out of the next family reunion if I wear this shirt?” Bernie asked.
“I will try my best to accept you as you are,” Vernie Sue answered. “But I do have one question. Clara, why are you dating such an old man?”
