“I’m kidding about sending Roxy to Chicago. Sort of,” I say. “Look, I’m going to go back to my room, get cleaned up for dinner. I suggest you guys do the same. It will make you feel better to get all the dust off. And maybe your parents will have reached an agreement by then, and things will be more cordial.” I can only hope I’m telling the truth. It looks like we’ll all be trapped here together, at least until the storm passes. I don’t have it in me to weather a storm of Roxy’s emotions at the same time, so I hope they will all settle down and be civil.
“What my parents need to do is agree to never speak to each other again,” Zach says. He’s clenching and unclenching his fists as he walks. “Especially my mom. I’m so glad you aren’t anything like her, Celeste.”
There’s nobody quite like Roxy, fortunately. “I’m sorry. This is the toughest on kids, no matter their age,” I say. “OK, I’ll be right down the hall and up the stairs if you need me. Take some deep breaths. Both of you.”
Back in my bedroom, I take a long shower and give myself a chance to pause and think.
Zach’s one-sided blame isn’t right. Celeste and I both told him that all relationships involve two people, and to solely blame his mother for his father’s unhappiness was unfair, even if we are talking about Roxy.
For once in my life, I may actually feel a bit sorry for Roxy. Just a tiny bit. I mean, her entire life just imploded publicly in front of all her guests, her sorority sisters. Her reputation with us is everything to her; I know it is. It was heart-wrenching to watch, even though some part of me says she deserves it, deserves to be abandoned and divorced. Deserves to understand how it feels to be the single one, have everyone think there is something wrong with you because you don’t have a man. In my case, I’ve focused my love and attention on Celeste. Nothing else mattered, and dating was simply not something I was interested in. Now, though, with a daughter living in Chicago and engaged to be married, I should consider it, I suppose. But what am I going to do? Go on one of those apps? I’d rather be single for the rest of my life.
I finally finish my shower and enjoy the plush robe and lotions provided before starting to blow-dry my hair. It’s nothing like Roxy’s or Amelia’s long mane, but my hair does take a bit of effort. I decide to jot down some notes for when I talk with Zach again, words of wisdom about relationships and how much moms—all moms—sacrifice for their kids. I’m not sure he’ll listen, ever, but I decide I’ll try. I walk around the bedroomto the bedside table, looking for a pen and paper. This isn’t a hotel, so I shouldn’t expect it, I know. I pull open the drawer.
“Oh my God,” I say as I stare at the postcard inside the drawer. The writing says, “So glad you’re here! See you soon!” And the photo on the front is a woman wearing a bright green dress, her long blond hair cascading down her back. I can’t see her face. Chills roll down my spine, and I slam the door closed. Is someone trying to taunt me, trying to make me see Sunny in every room, at every turn?
There’s a knock on my door. I pull my robe closed and open the door to find Celeste. Her eyes are red as if she’s been crying.
“Come in, come in,” I say. “What’s wrong, honey? I know Zach’s upset, but is there something more?”
“I accidentally took a wrong turn and found myself standing next to that Brett guy. He’s lying there, dead on the piano,” she says, and I see she’s shaking. “This whole weekend is a disaster. There’s a storm of dirt and dust outside, a dead man, Zach’s parents announced a divorce, there’s a huge fire burning out of control and heading this way. I don’t know. Maybe I’m not supposed to be getting married. What if I’m the bad luck charm?”
29
Beth
I pull my daughter into a hug. None of this is her fault.
“It’s a lot to take in, everything that’s happened, but you’re the good in the weekend, my darling,” I say. “Life always throws curveballs, and these are some big ones. It’s OK to take a moment and catch your breath.” I know I can’t push her too hard to reexamine her relationship with Zach, but maybe they’re moving too fast. And it’s not just because he’s Roxy’s son.
“I do love him, but I don’t want him to all of a sudden decide to leave me, like his dad did to his poor mom,” Celeste says. She takes my hands in hers, and we look each other in the eye. “Like what my dad did to you.”
“Seriously, honey, in my case it was good riddance. Amelia was right about that guy, unfortunately, but at least you got his good looks,” I say. I glance out the window and notice the storm’s dying down, the dust caught in the soft rays of the setting sun,creating a surreal spectacle. The dust has been replaced by smoke, though, and I wonder how close the fire is coming to us. I’m sure we’ll receive a warning if we need to evacuate. I’m reminded of the transient nature of moments like this, like the particles dancing in the desert wind. The symbolism is not lost on me. Just as the storm has transformed the landscape outside, my daughter’s engagement marks a significant shift in the landscape of her life. And mine. I squeeze her hand.
“I’m sorry about your dad,” I say. “I know that’s a void in your life. One I’ve tried my best to fill.”
“I know, Mom. And you did. I didn’t need him in my life, but you’re right, unfortunately I do look a lot like him. But most importantly, I have your dimple,” she says.
“The crowning glory of your gorgeousness,” I say, smiling.
“You don’t think I’m making a mistake with Zach, do you? Getting married to him? I mean, I think he’s great, I love him, but what if he isn’t?” she says.
“Oh, honey, I know this is a big decision, and you guys have moved very fast. You’re in love with Zach, and I’ve seen how much he cares about you,” I say carefully. “All marriages are, at some level, a leap of faith. No one totally knows the other person, what’s in their heart, what they are capable of, or who they will become. But that’s why it will be a journey, hopefully filled with more good than bad. And when the bad does come, as it will, you handle it together and grow stronger.”
She walks to the window, lost in thought. I’m certain doubts have crept in, and it’s normal to get the wedding jitters. Butmost young people don’t witness the last gasp of a marriage on their engagement weekend, I suppose.
And the last gasp of a weekend guest, for that matter too.
Celeste turns around and smiles. “You’re right. I love Zach and he loves me and that’s what matters.”
“It does,” I agree. Love matters, and so do patience and a sprinkle of good luck. Oh, and money. Money helps a lot, and at least there will be plenty of that for the newlyweds.
“Mom, do you know what’s happening tonight? Are we still having the fancy dinner?” Celeste asks. “I feel so terrible for Roxy. She must be devastated.”
“Roxy will want to go on with the show. She’s been planning it for months, and it’s her big night,” I say. “Why don’t you go get dressed and we’ll head down early? Offer to help? That’ll give Zach some time alone to think.”
“Yes, we should. You’re so great, Mom, you know that?” she says.
“Back atcha, kid,” I say. “I’ll meet you downstairs in half an hour. And Celeste, stay away from the living room and foyer. I’ll find something to cover Brett—to cover the body—but stay away.”
